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On talking dirty

There is a new (ish) porn phenomenon that I thoroughly approve of. It’s effectively a wank … tutorial… I guess. Search your favourite pornography site for ‘jerkoff instructions’. Ladies of varying descriptions (schoolteacher, nurse, psychiatrist, Mother, huge-titted slut) stare deep into the camera and tell guys how to wank themselves off. They use dirty, sexy, husky voices, and it’s brilliant. Why isn’t there a similar thing for girls?

Guys frequently underestimate how aroused women can be just by words.

Did you just tell me about a time when you fucked your girlfriend up against a wall? I am probably wet.

Did you whisper in my ear that you’re hard under the table and you want me to sit on it? I am probably wet.

Did someone within our earshot use one of the following words (regardless of context): beat, lash, whack? I am probably wet.

Words are beautiful. Talking is beautiful. Talk dirty to me.

But I don’t know how to talk dirty

Fair point – it’s tough. As with most things, I thoroughly recommend playing jazz and seeing whether the person you’re with is aroused or revolted. But if you just want some words to kick things off, try borrowing some or all of these ones:

Come here. Touch it. Fucking touch it. Yeah, that’s it. Wrap your hands right round it you filthy bitch.

Squeeze.

Yeah, that’s it. That’s good. Good girl. Can you feel how hard I am? You did that to me you slut. Keep going – did I ask you to stop? – fucking touch it, you slut.

Now take off your pants. That’s it, take them off and let me see you. Take all of it off. Now get down on your fucking knees. I want you to suck nice and hard on my cock.

That’s it – suck it. Good girl. Right to the back of your throat. Come on. Take it. Oh fuck that’s good. Spit on it. Squeeze harder. Well done.

Stand up, turn round, bend over. All the way – grip your ankles.

You know what I’m going to do now, right? I’m going to fuck you. Ask me to fuck you. Go on – beg me to fuck you. You want this? You want this, you dirty bitch. Ah, you do want it, you’re so wet.

Oh, fuck that’s good. You feel so good. You’re so wet. I’m going to fuck you nice and hard and you’re going to stay quiet. Shut up. hold your ankles, don’t straighten up. Oh fuck that’s good.

I’m going to fuck you hard and then I’m going to come inside you. No, you don’t get to come. God, that’s good.

Oh.

Fuck.

Can you feel that? Do you like that? You like my cock nice and hard inside you? Yeah? Oh God, I’m going to come. I’m going to come right inside you. You. You. Dirty.

Filthy.

Little.

Bitch.

Good girl.

18 Comments

  • Mags says:

    Oh my, you really can see right inside my fucking head.

    @MissInformed11

  • Bella says:

    I must say, I never have more fun than when Bloke has one hand around my throat, with the other over my mouth and is using his body weight to pin me down while he fucks me hard, all the time whispering in my ear: “Does that feel good you dirty little slut? Yeah? You like my big hard cock fucking you? You really are a filthy, filthy whore. Do filthy whores like being fucked hard then? Come on, fucktoy, you can take it… You’re being such a good fucktoy for me today.” and, achem, so on…

    Bonus points if he starts describing how he’s going to come on my tits and/or face as he does it.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I deserve some ‘alone time’.

  • Mags says:

    I like when we’re out “when we get home, I’m gonna tear your knickers off and fuck you so hard you won’t see straight”
    and then during said fucking, with his mouth pressed very close to my ear and his hand tangled in my hair rendering me unable to move my head “stay still slut…don’t you move just lie there and take it, take it all. This is all you’re good for and when I’m done I’m gonna flip you over and fuck your tight ass till you’re screaming – you like that? You wanna cum for me now? I’m not gonna let you…not yet…not yet…not till i say you can…”

  • girlonthenet says:

    I am going to have to spend some time alone now. Mags, Bella – I love you both.

  • AnotherGirl says:

    I dream of my usual shag talking to me like that. Usually I do all the talking. Recently I breathlessly demanded that he just fuck my wet cunt hard. Just as I sensed he was getting close I reached up, bit his earlobe and ordered him to fill me with hot come. The effect was instantaneous. For both of us.

  • M says:

    Of course, it cuts both ways. The porn genre’s a little bit of a red herring (save for it demonstrating the fact that guys like to be talked dirty to, too), as words leaping from a page — or screen — can be just as effective when it comes to… lone arousal.

    It continues the same vein, too:

    Did you tell me about the boy you saw recently who put one hand over your mouth, the other your throat, and fucked you with only a heavy curtain separating you both from a room full of people? I am probably hard.

    Did you whisper into my ear that you want to swallow my come? I am probably hard.

    Did someone within our earshot use one of the following words (regardless of context): pierced, smothered, clamped? I am probably hard.

    Handily, it will generally work whether you’re in a mood to be, (or tend towards being) generally dominant or submissive. Begging and demanding both work just as well as one another, depending upon mood.

    You could tell a guy you want to be held down by your neck and have your throat fucked; the enthusiasm in response is going to be comparable if instead you pulled his face to your cunt and demanded he fuck you with his tongue.

    You could beg him to make you come as he fucks you, but equally it’ll be just as effective in eliciting a response if you felt inclined to require that, while you stand over him with one hand grasping at your nipples and the other at your cunt, he wanks until he comes over himself for your entertainment.

    So, yes, words are beautiful. And conveniently versatile.

  • Stephanie says:

    Thanks! I was just telling hubby that I don’t even know where to start in terms of talking dirty to him. My mind’s a complete blank.

  • thatman says:

    Bad girl. You’re a bad girl. And bad girls get punished. They get punished hard. Like this. That’s right like this. Not like good girls. Good girls get exactly what they want don’t they? Now do you want to be a good girl? Or a bad girl? You decide. You decide. And you tell me who you are…

  • Vicky says:

    Just ‘good girl’ makes me wet…

  • Imogen says:

    Dirty talk makes all the difference to me. The fuck could be great but if it’s a silent one it can only be *so* great.

    Case in point: being pounded hard with a hand about my throat and one over my mouth – winning. Being pounded hard with a hand about my throat and one over my mouth while hearing “You fucking filthy little bitch, you can’t get enough can you? Fucking take it you little slut” – me squirting all over their cock.

    Interestingly enough, though, I don’t actually enjoy talking dirty myself. I’m not silent by any means, I’m vocal and I’ll often interject with the odd “fuck that’s amazing”, “You’re so fucking hard”, “that feels so good”, etc. But I often panic when expected to say more than that.

    I’m going to have to have some alone time now.

  • Babefiend says:

    Holy fucking hell that’s hot.
    Oh the wonderful power of words. They work for me too.
    In fact (confess TMI warning) sometimes when I’m wanking I don’t actually picture scenes, I say words in my head, words get me off. Words like “hard”, “pounding”, “thick cock filling me up” and the such. It’s the words that tip me over the edge.

    Thank you for sharing x

  • P says:

    This isn’t really general advice though is it? I think one has to be mindful of the art of escalation. There’s also a lot more to dirty talk than just misogynist phrases. I’m sure there’s a lot of women who’d go mental if you suddenly started calling them a bitch in the bedroom.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Well, no. But that’s because there’s no such thing as ‘general advice’ when it comes to what to say in bed. That’s why I can only ever give my perspective.

    • M says:

      I am the same, yes. I don’t want to be called a bitch/whore/cunt etc., I don’t want to be infantilised, I want to hear what’s turning them on, and say what I want.
      It’s hard to find things that aren’t all a mirror of the kinds of relationships I’ve had and now want to avoid – I get why people enjoy it, but it is definitely less simple finding examples of talk that’s fucking filthy but isn’t also really quite offensive/scary/violent.
      Anyone saying things without checking what you’re into first, though, needs to cut that out. If people are into it, go ahead. I am keen to find other options.

      • Girl on the net says:

        Ooh yeah on the checking thing, I realise there *is* some general advice here that I find super helpful. If it’s a new person, I often do a bit of dirty talk/flirting stuff via email beforehand (not text: I am old school and wordy) and I think getting them to share their fantasies is a brilliant way of getting to know the language they like. Not just in terms of words they tend to avoid but also the tone of what they say – it’s a nice intro to get a feel for things before you ask the more in-depth/detailed questions later. If they’re not that wordy, asking them to send a bit of writing/video that really turned them on works sometimes too – as long as they have some material to hand, if you see what I mean.

  • R says:

    Oh, fuck, this is good to read. I’ve been involved with a few guys who don’t go for dirty talk and are too nervous to really dominate me for fear of hurting me or demeaning me; I’ve finally got involved with someone who loves both – if he whispers any of these to me when I next see him, I’ll be a goner. Mmm.

  • Vida says:

    Warg, all my appreciation of this perfect dirty talk ruined in a fell blow by the word ‘hubby’. Lady-boner killer, every time.

  • Uula says:

    Thanks all for the comments! They are fucking sexy)

    I’ll just add that right pause at the right time also can be hot. Remember when I watched Sherlok BBC with my girlfriend for the first time. It was winter and we were at the couch under blanket. Just few meters away outside the door our friends watched something else.

    I couldn’t concentrate because of my lustful fantasies and her breasts. So I just grabbed those big tits and started to rub from behind through my pants. “Be quiet. I just want to tease you a bit…” Then I showed my right hand between her legs and SLOWLY started to poke finger in her pussy. I licked my finger and did it again and again. “Here, lick it too. Yeees. Suck it. Suck you pussy’s juice.” And I stuck two wet fingers in her hot horny hole. I dropped trow, took her hand and we started to stroke my hard dick.

    “Take it… Slower. SLOWER. Goood girl.” The show was going on, guests were talking in the next room while my girlfriend was ruubing my hard itching cock and I was squeezing her tits with one hand and fucking pussy with another. Mmm… We both moaned quietly as I started kissing her. I imagined how she sucks me when our tongues danced wildly. And then she said shyly “Put it in already…” and spread her ass.

    I beat cock in slutty pussy with a loud whack. It went all the way until my balls hit her clit. I could just fuck her and think “I’ll cum on you, I’ll cum on your tits.” My hands just desperately pawed over her ass, her boobs until I gagged her mouth. She was so hot and wet that with each beat I almost explode inside with sticky white cum…

    We hardly waited until everyone went to sleep. Finally I teared her bra. Put her on the floor. Spread her gorgeous legs wide. Pinned her down and fucked. “Ah, you’re so wet. Do you feel how my dick kisses your pussy? Spread your legs. I’ll fuck you deep. And don’t. Even. Think. About. Screaming! ”

    “Yeeeesss. I’m going to cum. Squeeze your tits for me.” At last I hang over them and shoot my cum over her big fucking tits and sweet moaning lips. “Ahhh. Now suck it for me. Taste my cum. Do you like it? Do you want it in your mouth? Gooood girl…”

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