Naturally when I do ‘top X posts’ roundups, those that get to the top of the list in terms of visits will be the dirtier ones, because dirty stories usually get the most search traffic.
Any post I write which contains the phrase ‘butt plugs’, for instance, is going to do pretty well. So what I’ve done is a top 5 (below) of the most popular guest blogs in terms of visits, and a few extras picked by me purely because I love them. That’s not to say I don’t like the dirty ones, of course. It’s just that, as partners have told me before, life cannot all be about butt plugs.
“The corridor stretched before me. While I waited for the hot gay sex to happen, I explored. There were rooms off to the side, some with a bed, some with just room to stand. They all had a glory hole in the wall. The doors to some of the rooms were closed, and I could hear muffled grunting and moaning coming from inside. One of the doors was ajar and I stopped and watched as a guy vigorously fucked his partner. His back glistened with sweat, and his balls slapped against the other guy’s arse as their bodies met.
“I carried on. There were benches, armchairs and alcoves. There were guys walking round, and guys sitting watching the porn on the televisions, touching themselves. What was the etiquette? Should I approach them? I didn’t speak the language well enough, and they didn’t seem keen on making eye contact. Were they playing it cool? Or were they as nervous as I was?”
“I’m a pro-domme; I’ve been pegging men for money for a couple of years. B is a fellow sex worker, albeit a switch and the two of us frequently see clients together. Occasionally a client will ask for a meeting that involves B being submissive, however our most popular request is our spit-roast session. We saw a client a few weeks ago for one such session and I enjoyed it so much that I’m going to share it with you.”
“We’d met on a dating site when I was 23. We lived at different ends of the country so only fucked once, five years ago, in a train-station toilet when we realised, by chance, we were both passing through. We barely said hello before he pulled me into a dirty cubicle in the men’s toilet, lifted up my skirt, ripped my tights, fucked my cunt and stuffed two fingers in my arse.”
This one isn’t a straight-up guest blog – more an interview that I did with the guy who introduced me to Cock Hero. But since I spoke to him, I have been obsessed with playing it. To my mind, there is no better way to while away a wintry night than with one of my favourite masturbators (currently the Fleshlight Flight Pilot, if you’re interested) and a guy who’s happy for me to wank him off to a beat.
“I’m laid on my bed, and I’m not wearing anything anyway, so it’s an easy transition. I’ve a laptop in front of me, and I’m sort of laid on my left side, with my now-stiff cock in my right hand. I turn the volume up a notch (I can still just reach with my left hand, despite being propped up on that elbow) and as the second round begins, I start to stroke myself to the pulsed beat scrolling from right to left across the video. It’s not fast, not slow, just a comfortable relaxed pace and I’m watching a girl having her tits massaged before it cuts to her masseuse fucking her across the bench. The rhythm switches to three quick strokes and a pause, three strokes and a pause, again and again, and I follow it. Long strokes up and down my whole shaft, yet somehow the awkwardness of this three-pause-three-pause-etc isn’t sexy. It suddenly feels mechanical, not natural. Nobody would come doing this. I wonder if that’s the point … if this is meant to be a break of some sort … but then the rhythm switches back to a steady up and down wanking just as the video cuts to a slow, sensual blow job. That’s more like it.”
This is, and has been, the most popular guest blog almost since the day it was published. I could give you a bunch of reasons why – number one would be the fact that it gets a huge amount of search traffic when people go looking for ‘butt plugs.’ It’s also incredibly hot, as you can probably tell from this very short snippet:
‘Put your butt plug in your cunt, you’re wearing it to breakfast.’
Awesome posts that I just love to pieces
“So, there’s this guy I like, yeah? I’ve harbored a monster crush on this dude since I was 13. I’m 43 now. So, yeah, this has been a thing for a while. 30 years is a long time for a crush. But there it is. And here I am, writing about one of the biggest crushes of my entire life. On someone who doesn’t even really exist. And who is also a raccoon. Named Rocket.”
“The really fun part turned out to be lifts. You can’t just hop on an escalator to get to Womenswear, Second Floor. You have to track down a member of staff, who directs you to a tiny lift in an out-of-the-way corner of the shop. No one else was ever around. There would just be space for him to stand behind my wheelchair, so I would tip my head back, he would lean over me, and we would kiss until we felt the jolt of the lift stopping again.”
“I recently purchased My Love is Cool, the hotly-anticipated debut album from North London four-piece Wolf Alice. It’s a pretty great listen; the band have a dangerous, ‘don’t fuck with us’ cool that’s kind of irresistible in a rock band, and they cover a thrillingly wide variety of sounds over the course of just twelve tracks.
“It’s also the perfect soundtrack for giving head.”
Awesome posts about fetish
If there were a theme for guest blogs this year, I’d say it’s the year in which I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were happy to talk about their unique fetishes. I adore posts like this, particularly as these are all so well-written they actually make me feel like I’m inside someone else’s head – getting a glimpse of how their fetish makes them feel.