Yearly round up take two! Yesterday I did the top sexy blog posts I’ve written here, as measured by Google Analytics. Today it’s time for the guest blogs. I’m constantly amazed and delighted that so many incredible people are willing to share their sex stories and ideas here, and intrigued to see which ones you click on most frequently.
Unfortunately, when it comes to guest blogs, my measurement system goes a bit weird, because the posts that were published in January will naturally have had way more traffic than those published in December. So while the top 10 is partly reflective of things which were big hits, there are others published later in the year that haven’t had a chance to build up search traffic yet. So alongside the top 10, I’m going to give you an extra five that I’d love you to go and read too. Ready?
Five guest blogs you should totally read right now
Rings make hands sexier: because I couldn’t agree more.
What about the men?: contains audio of a show that made me weep.
Sex and grief: because it’s a devastatingly brilliant and moving piece of writing.
I fucked a rollercoaster: because ‘WHEEEEEEEEE!’
Gaining, feeding and encouraging: contains fetish, hotness and pizza.
Checked those out? OK, phew. Now onto the top ten. Commence drum rolls now, please do share the ones you love, and huge thank you to all the incredible guest bloggers who help make this blog a sexy, interesting place to visit.
“The power of a good story is in the telling, and the same can be said for phone sex. It is one of my biggest turn ons and can also be one of the hardest sexual crafts to master. Anyone can read a person in real life, can see how certain things they do effect their partner in the moment but with phone sex, all those other senses are taken away and the heightened faculty that you are left with is sound, stripped back to just tone and imagination, and it is so much more satisfying when you get it right.”
I don’t often get to post fiction, because I’m not very good at writing it, so this gorgeous short story from ‘Best Women’s Erotica’ utterly delighted me – it’s a great combination of shivery-chills and heart-pounding sexiness.
“Something trails across my shoulder. But these aren’t the ephemeral hands of a spirit. These fingers are hot and dry and purposeful as they stroke my neck.
“A shivery thrill shoots through me.”
By Valerie Alexander
At the time this was submitted I was doing a bit of CBT (The Cognitive Behavioural Therapy kind, not the Cock and Ball Torture kind), so the fight-or-flight tone of this appealed to me very much.
“Within a few minutes of entering the dungeon space with its benches and restraints, its whips and canes, I am tied to a cross, naked and vulnerable. I can almost taste the adrenaline. I can feel my heart beating rapidly as it drives blood round my body.”
7. Knife play
This one is intense, and told from two different perspectives, which I always like: it’s intriguing to see what’s going on in both people’s heads, as well as which details each of them remembers most strongly.
“So I’m there talking about caging his cock and he mentions some household item. A lightbulb moment later and I’m looking through the kitchen drawer to see what I’ve got and whilst there’s various things, they’re all too small for his cock. I was about to close the drawer when he spotted and took out a knife.”
By Alice and the Wolf
This post describes a really intense experience, doing something I have heard about but never quite been able to peek behind the curtain of.
“My bag and the handsome man disappeared into the house, and I was met in the door by two stark naked ladies. Both came with outstretched arms and inviting smiles, but the visual impression of so much pale naked flesh advancing towards me at alarming speed almost made me fall backwards. I physically willed myself to smile back, take their hands and try to memorise their names amidst the onslaught of impressions. I was struggling to answer even the most basic questions: “How was your flight? Would you like a drink?” It was all too much. I thought: “Damn you, Jeff, you must be pissing yourself with laughter. Moving me outside my comfort zone again. Bastard!””
This one needs an explanation rather than quote, so forgive me for a bit of waffle. Earlier this year, in the wake of the James Deen allegations (which I have to point out Deen denied) a UK company that produced erotica ‘by and for’ women started attacking women on Twitter for condemning Deen’s actions. The company – Quite Delightful – tweeted an absolute shower of ignorance, and when people tried to point out why they were wrong, QD doubled-down: retweeting rape apologists, and inviting their followers to pile on to anyone who disagreed with them.
I was incredibly grateful to the guest blogger @sophable – one of QD’s customers – for thoroughly covering the debacle, and I’m delighted that something so political made it to the top 10. Thank you to anyone who shared it.
Oh oh oh oh oh I am over the MOON that this beautiful story of good friendship and excellent sexytimes made it into the top 10 too…
“It started with peanut butter and jam on toast. In my face. And that’s what happens when me and my best friend get blind drunk, winding each other up. “Don’t get my jeans,” she admonished, “they’re the only ones I brought with me.” Oops, big mistake. They got smeared. So did my hair. And her top. And we started the whole posturing thing, trying to outdo each other. “If you get any closer,” she ended up saying, “I’ll kiss you.” I didn’t say no, in fact “c’mon then” seemed appropriate.”
“I like dating couples. I like sleeping with couples. It turns me on to think that a couple has discussed bringing in a third, exploring that side of their relationship, fantasised about how hot having another woman to share would be and then they find someone like me online. I love every little step from matching with someone on 3nder to treating myself to a cab home the following morning, dishevelled, exhausted and very very happy.”
Note: thanks to legal threats from sex-negative bellends Tinder, 3nder is now called ‘Feeld‘
2. Holiday sex
This is a guest blog I couldn’t resist posting because it’s the writer’s first ever go at writing erotica. We all start somewhere, and she began with a holiday sex fantasy.
“It had been a fair (terrible) nine months since I had last had … I was about to say “a good fuck” but it wasn’t. Face down missionary position with my ex – perfunctory, though he had acknowledged my clit with the middle finger of his right hand and at least I had come, even if it lasted all of 4 minutes. So when the opportunity presented itself on a girls’ holiday, I found it hard to say no.”
(If you’re thinking of writing for the first time – or want to build on some erotica you’ve already written – grab a ticket to Eroticon. It’s a weekend event in London at the beginning of March and some of the best sex writers, editors, bloggers and educators will gather to share knowledge, support each other, and have a brilliant time).
Yesterday I published my own top posts of 2016, and explained that what came in at the number 1 spot was something I just knew would be popular. The same can definitely be said of this post by Laura from School of Squirt.
One night. Loads of cock. A bunch of glory holes. And two seriously happy women. Enjoy.
As ever I am hugely indebted to all the amazing guest bloggers who share their work here. In 2017 I’m determined to pick up the guest blogging schedule again, having dropped the ball a bit on it this year. If you’d like to pitch me, please check out the guidelines and send me something any time after January 2nd (I’m kind of on holiday at the moment). If you’ve pitched me and haven’t had a reply feel free to nudge me after Jan 2nd as well. You can see all past guest blogs here.