“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come. We’re sitting side-by-side on the sofa, him covered in spunk and me casually discarding the dildo and Zumio I used to get there myself. On the TV the porn scene we were watching still plays: porn with no plot, just a couple of people having a vigorous and sexy shag. He reaches for the controller to switch it off as I try to put into words what ‘the plot of that porn’ really was.
See, I struggle if there is no plot. I watch porn sometimes, but very rarely on my own. On my own, I prefer to close my eyes and imagine people doing dirty things in my head. It’s not because I don’t like porn – there is plenty of amazing porn out there, and on occasion I’ll find something specific that really does it for me. But most of the time, if I’m watching something he likes, I’m adding an extra layer to what’s happening on-screen by writing some plot in my head.
The porn with no plot that we’re watching is about as straightforward as you can get. Two people in revealing clothes begin by kissing, then there’s a blow job, then they switch locations and fuck. Vigorously and beautifully and skilfully in a variety of different positions, but still: they just fuck. There’s very little talking, and no plot whatsoever. If I had to guess at the motivation behind the sex they were having it’d be that they’re just two very sexy people who fancy each other and want to bone. That’s it. There’s no intriguing blackmail scenario, no atmosphere of challenge or reward, no wife-walking-in-partway-through and battling an intense mix of emotions as she weighs up whether to plunge in. Just two people fucking.
No criticism of that porn scene, of course: it was great. It’s just that porn with no plot doesn’t tend to do it for me, so I have to imagine extra layers. My dude was curious about what layer I could have added to a scene which was so entirely straightforward.
Problem is, not all porn without a plot lends itself easily to me adding one. I need something to go on: some facial expressions or words that could hint at the plot I might write. And this one had nothing.
So.
“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come.
“The tricky thing is,” I explain, “that particular scene had so little plot that it was hard to get a grip on anything. I need at least a tiny bit of dialogue or tone to grip onto, otherwise I can’t write a plot. It’s like if you want to come up with an idea for a birthday present, you need to know at least a little bit about the person you’re buying for. So given that there are no details to hook onto, the ‘plot’ for this had to fall outside the porn itself, and focus in you instead.
“The ‘plot’ of this porn without a plot wasn’t about the people on screen, it was about you. I pictured us watching them fuck on the telly, and me coming early while you’re still beating away at your cock. Two seconds after I’ve come, when my cunt is still twitching from the orgasm, you decide you need something extra and you aren’t going to be able to come with just your hand. So you tell me ‘fuck it, my turn. Get on your knees.’ And I do what I’m told. I drop to the floor, on my hands and knees in front of the sofa, cunt presented to you at just the right height for you to slide your dick in. You keep beating away at your dick with one hand while grabbing my arse with the other, and watching the two people fuck on-screen.
“When it gets to exactly the right moment in the scene – one of the positions or facial expressions or moaning noises you’ve been seeking as you click forward and back on the scene we’re watching – you slam your dick inside. So eager are you to come, and so leftover-horny from the drunk and non-orgasmic fuck we had last night, the second your dick slides right in up to the hilt, you grunt with relief and empty a huge load of jizz right into the back of my cunt.
“So yeah… that’s the plot of this.”
I’ve written before about finding my sexuality somewhere in the margins of mainstream porn: how in absence of images of men beating themselves off, or shots of their faces twisted into satisfied gurns at the moment of orgasm, I’ve watched the shots and scenes on the TV and imagined the men instead. Picturing not what’s happening on camera, but what’s happening at home, as guys pleasure themselves to the scenes that are happening. I guess this is an extension of that.
And although that particular plot does explain why we both came at almost exactly the same time (his grunt of satisfaction as he started to squirt spunk up his own chest wove neatly into my fantasy of him grunting and emptying into me while I was face-down-ass-up on the carpet), sadly the filthy joy of my own personal plot was a little wasted on my recently-jizz-drained other half. So I’m sharing it here instead.
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I’ve watched porn for years, and read erotica and porn mags since before the internet made porn films readily available.
As an 18 year old, I found a porn novel in my sister’s bedroom ( I think it was just called ‘Women” and I can’t renember the author) and all I really did was skip through the pages until I found the sex scenes to give me something to jerk off to. i had a hazy view of the plot, basically a guy who had sexual relationships with a variety of women while he looked for ‘the one.’ As a male, I wasn’t really very interested in a plot, but even if I had been, I was always pressed for time when I was home alone so had to find the juicy bits and get myself off as fast as possible and get the book back to where I’d found it before my parents or sister came home.
After that, an older friend of mine lent me ‘The Pearl,’ a book of Victorian erotica, and I had more time to read it so got a bit more interested in the plots, but they seemed to be mostly wealthy men taking advantage of naive girls, or wanton girls who’d fuck any bloke for sixpence. When I left home and got my own place and started buying my own porn mags, Club International and Mayfair were what I bought mostly, I was finally seeing high quality photos of naked women in great detail, the first I’d seen with explicit photos of cunts in all their glory, and as a horny 18 year old these were more than enough to give me a raging hard-on very quicklly. I also read features, short stories and readers’ letters pages, which began to give me more of an insight into what fucking actually entailed, the stories having some sort of plot to follow, but I was still mostly interested in what would get me stimulated fastest for a first class wank.
I’d got together with my first ‘proper’ girlfriend before I left school at 18, but although we fooled around a lot, we didn’t really have the opportunity to explore further until I had my own flat, at which point we started fucking several times a week. Of course, we started trying different positions and different locations, but she also knew I had a few porn mags and was curious to know what I saw in them, apart from the obviously arounsing photos, so we’d often read them together in bed before getting down to fucking. As the photos were all off females, they weren’t of particular interest to her, so we’d read more of the written stuff than I’d usually have read, and we also read The Pearl together, both of which would usually get us in the mood for a good fuck.
Porn was becoming more mainstream at the cinema, and we went to see the first Emanuelle film in 1974. By today’s standards it was pretty tame, but it was good enough for us to hurry back to my flat for a really good fuck. We didn’t bother going to see any of the sequels, but when porn started being releasd on video tape, we hired quite a few just to widen our horizons.
And then the internet changed everything. With dial-up being pretty slow, a lot of the first porn I saw tended to last less than a minute, gradually getting longer as speeds improved, but there wasn’t much time to show any plot, so it was all pretty much getting straight down to whatever type of activity was being shown. It only got better with the advent of broadband, but by this time I was watching alone and less intrested in plot than higher quality video of the action.
There don’t seem to be too many plots in modern porn. There are a lot of taboo subjects like seducing or being seduced by a step-sibling, or teen boys fucking their hot step-mothers, lesbians seducing their straight girls friends, and girls being tricked into performing in fake auditions. This has all got a bit lame for me, and my preferences now are more for what appear to be ‘real’ couples who like to record themselves, because there are less of the hackneyed plots and more genuine enjoyment by the participants, but this also means there’s often a lack of any plot, it’s just people wanting to get it on and enjoy it.
Is this because I’m a male and we’re supposed to be mor evisually aroused? Quite possibly. Are women really more interested in a romantic plot of some sort? I know these are sweeping statements and won’t apply to everyone, but I must admit that I really only use porn as a quick stimulant to get me going, which is not as easy as it was when I was younger, so I’m really not looking for anything other than the briefest of plots and the most realistic of action.