Sex is not the same experience for everyone. The same simple physical acts can have wildly different effects depending on someone’s needs, desires and past experiences. This week, guest blogger – Warrior – is here to discuss BDSM and trauma, detailing a kinky scene with another guy which brought up some nightmares from the past. Be aware that this post discusses sexual abuse, and the ways in which kink can interplay with that.

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Hooray for Valentine’s Day sex! The sex that you might enjoy, but equally might be worrying you’re doing just because it seems like the right thing to do on February 14th! Or boo for Valentine’s Day sex! The sex that you really want to have, with someone nice, who doesn’t seem to have materialised yet because the world is annoying like that. Whether you’re planning a blowout kinky sex fest, or aiming to ignore the day completely, I have some sex toys and other treats to recommend you, because I am a sex blogger and it’s my literal job.

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We’re chatting about fucking, and all the bucket list sex we’d like to have. Recently we’ve been trying to plan more kinky sex, so this sort of stuff is occupying our thoughts, but it’s hard to think of anything enticing yet possible: we’re pretty good at ticking new sordid kinks off the second they cross our filthy minds, so most of the fucking we want to do has already been done. I ponder the issue for a while before suddenly it hits me. There’s one really significant thing that I’ve never done with this particular guy: break up.

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Places can have a really special resonance in our lives. When I travel around my hometown, I can’t help but remember different locations by the sexy things I used to do there. Sometimes the simple act of visiting a particular place is enough to bring back a flood of memories. And often, just reading about the resonance certain places have for other people is enough to send me off on a mental journey through all the places I once loved and fucked. This week’s guest blog, by Lauren, is a gorgeous story about exactly this, and it made me cry.

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Kinky sex very rarely just ‘happens.’ It takes planning and preparation and time and conversation and all that other stuff. Even in a relationship where you know you’re both keen to do it, it can be weirdly difficult to set aside time to turn off Netflix and indulge in the kind of fucking you can reminisce about for weeks to come. Recently someone asked me for some tips on how to plan and initiate kinky sex, so for what it’s worth, here’s how I make sure I’ve got a regular serving of dick in my diary.

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