Category Archives: Filthy ones

Oh. My. Aching. Cock.

Last week I was away for a couple of days at the sex industry trade show Erofame – I’ll tell you all about it in an upcoming post. While I was away, inevitably I started missing my partner. I missed him generally, of course: I wanted to be able to chat to him about all the cool new sex toys I was discovering and share stories from the event. But more specifically I missed his cock, and I looked forward immensely to coming home and sliding right down to the base of it.

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Ten things I hate about Doxy Number 3

OK gang, listen up because I’m angry. For years – YEARS – I have been recommending the Doxy to anyone and everyone with a clitoris. It’s the turbo-charged fuckstick of my wildest dreams and by my rough calculations it has delivered more orgasms in the three and a half years I’ve owned it than any living human has given me over the course of the rest of my life. Myself included. I love Doxy so much I would recklessly and gleefully abseil down the nearest tall building to unfurl a ‘FUCK YEAH DOXY’ banner that could be read from miles away. But now Doxy has launched a new toy – a compact wand called ‘Doxy Number 3’ – and I am, to put it mildly, livid.

Here are 10 things I hate about the Doxy Number 3.

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Songs that make me want to use your cock

Do me a favour: before you start reading this post, open this song in a brand new browser tab and hit play. Because I want to tell you what this song makes me do: grind heavily on the nearest willing hot guy and demand ‘I want to use your cock.’

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Fuck me like you’re wanking

I could sit watching him wank forever – as he lies on one sofa, injured hand trying to wring an impossible orgasm out of his twitching, eager cock. A brief recap of where we left off on Wednesday: I’m sitting wanking on one sofa in the living room, my partner is wanking on the other, but his hand is injured so he can’t get the grip required to come. The sight of him frustratedly rubbing at his cock is so hot I came too quickly, but I’m stroking my clit and hoping for more because I just love watching him like this…

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Mutual masturbation: I could do this forever

Remember last Wednesday’s blog post, where my partner injured his hand and then gave me a cute compliment? That unscripted compliment wasn’t the only good thing to come out of his DIY disaster. As he pointed out soon after he’d mangled his palm, in a voice tinged with horror and distress: that was his wanking hand. He is not a man who goes without a wank easily, and I’m not a girl who misses the opportunity for a new kind of mutual masturbation. So we set to work…

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