Do you have a website where you post erotic stories? Would you like to turn some of those stories into audio porn? I’d love to hear from you! Erotic writers, sex bloggers, anyone who writes smut: I’ll pay a license fee to adapt your work into audio porn, and give you a widget to embed those stories on your own site, which makes your erotica more accessible and also gives your site some extra sexy content. Interested? Read on…

This post originally went up during last round of commissioning, but I’m republishing in July 2026 ready for the next round – some details have slightly changed so please do read carefully before submitting! Important info up top: the deadline for this is 1st August 2026.

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I talk about sex more than the average person. Hopefully that’s not a shock to any of you. Even before starting this sex blog, I was well-known in my friendship group for being the one who Talks About Sex. If someone asked me what I got up to at the weekend, and ‘what I got up to’ included some kinky roleplay with my partner and a friend, I’d probably include that in my roundup of life updates. Sex is part of my life – an important part – and if someone wants to be friends with me, they have to accept that when they ask me ‘how are you?’ the answer might come back: ‘horny!’. This isn’t something I think about very often, because I’m rarely prompted to consider it until I meet new people. At that point, when they ask what I got up to at the weekend, I have to temper my instinct to reply ‘eating crisps and wanking’ or whatever it might be. But a while ago one of my excellent Patreons asked me if I ever get embarrassed when I talk about sex, and it felt like a great opportunity to get nerdily detailed about the answer.

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Do you want to get a lovely sexy card from me in December, with a beautiful design drawn by Stuart Taylor who creates the fabulous art for the site? Now’s your chance! Just join my Patreon (at ANY level – the lowest tier is just £2/$2 per month) and you’ll get a message on 1st December so you can tell me where to send it. If you join before the 30th November, you can also join in with the Zoom hangout where you get to talk to your favourite sex blogger (as long as your favourite sex blogger is me), and hear some smutty readings from the archives.

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The first line of a blog post is not as important as you think. Sure, you want to draw people in – with a sexy image, a powerful statement, or perhaps a controversial statement to pique their interest like I’ve done here. But the first line is no more than a ‘hello’. You’re setting out your stall and encouraging people to approach, but you don’t need the first line to do more than just grab someone’s attention. The final line of a blog post: that’s what counts.

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Telling people I’m a sex blogger usually leads to one or two misconceptions: that I am constantly shagging, or that I am shagging in such wildly creative ways that no normal human could keep up with the carnival of kink. But that’s not really what I’m about. I’m not obsessed with the quantity of sex I’m having, nor the depths of any particular depravity. In fact, I reckon I could have relatively vanilla sex once a month and still be eager and intense enough about it – and the fantasies that lead up to or come out of it – to write a passable sex blog. I’m not a nymphomaniac or the kinkiest woman alive: I’m just a plain old sex nerd.

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