For a while I’ve been contemplating a series of blog posts in which I argue, essentially, with myself. Taking on some of the bad arguments or terrible opinions I had years ago, which still exist on these pages for everyone to see. Every time my autotweet widget spits out something from the archive, I cringe in anticipation of what my past self said, ready to be embarrassed today by what I said five years ago. I’m not alone in this: we’ve all said things in the past that we don’t agree with today. And we all have to consider how we deal with embarrassing stuff when confronted by it, years later. Should we edit old blogs that we no longer agree with?

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I want to write a quick ’10 things I took away from Eroticon 2018′ – thanks to The Other Livvy for kicking it all off this year! But before I get into my 10 things, I wanted to explain the one big thing that’s been going round and round in my head since I collapsed, exhausted, on my living room floor on Sunday: I want to be more like other people.

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“You’re such a fucking weirdo,” he tells me, in that deeply affectionate tone which is the only one you can legitimately use when you’re calling someone a fucking weirdo. “You spend all your time either nostalgic for the past, or panicking about the future.”

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It’s just over a month until Eroticon 2018, the conference for sex bloggers, erotica writers and other erotic creative types held in Camden on 17th/18th March. Just typing that sentence makes me simultaneously excited and nervous, because Eroticon was so good to me when I was a baby blogger that I desperately want it to be as good for others as it was for me. Molly, Michael and I have been working hard at the planning, and all our amazing speakers are getting ready to give their talks/workshops. All that’s left now is to introduce ourselves, and get ready for March 2018…

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We live in anxious times, soundtracked by the constant, incessant ping of phones and laptops. Notifications are everywhere, bleeping and flashing and demanding a response. So how do we deal with it? Some people probably just switch their phones off or put them in a different room. People like me, though, write blog posts trying to explain ourselves to others in a desperate attempt to either make them forgive me or make them leave me alone. So with good and bad, selfish and silly and paranoid and everything in between, here are a few reasons I have not replied to your message.

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