Category Archives: Featured audio porn

I am so bored of you fucking me

There’s a particular porn scene my partner and I watch over and over and over. I’m not going to tell you exactly what it is, because for some reason a little piece of my brain blushes at the thought of you watching it and judging me. But it contains a dynamic that I find incredibly hot: the bored fuck. Ideally with an incredibly eager dude (or a line-up of them) and a really bored-looking woman. Her expression says ‘I’m bored of you fucking me’ or perhaps even ‘get on with it’, and his desperation paired with her ambivalence makes me a soaking-wet-and-shaking kind of horny.

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Erotic story: Think of England (also available as audio porn)

I was chatting to my dude recently about the least sexy kind of sex, and he mentioned ‘lie-back-and-think-of-England’ sex. You know the kind: where two people have sex out of a misplaced sense of duty, or the idea that that’s what they ‘should’ do. Thing is, though, I have an entirely filthy mind, and even this kind of sex can be extraordinarily arousing if you think of it in the right way. So he challenged me to write it: an erotic story about apparently un-erotic sex, and I had so much fun writing it that I recorded it as audio porn too…

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Competition – a gang bang with a twist

Brace yourself: I think this might be the most narcissistic, self-centered wank fantasy I’ve ever had. But seeing as it’s given me so many excellent afternoon distractions, I thought I’d share it with you. It involves a gang bang, a competition, and a hell of a lot of struggle-fucking.

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Erotic fiction: the woman behind the porn cinema

This is a fantasy about a porn cinema that I wrote ages ago, for reasons I can’t remember. I like things that are simultaneously sexy and grotesque – like the blow job/dripping sandwich fantasy. That’s my way of saying the following story might be weird. And maybe disturbing. And creepily voyeuristic. Alternatively it might not be, and the fact I’ve waited six months to publish it has been a complete waste of my mental energy.

If you asked me to write my own future, I would write the following story. Then you’d wish you’d never asked, and I’d have to burn it, and we probably wouldn’t be friends any more because the whole thing would get awkward.

Anyway. Some erotic fiction. Or a disturbing vision of my distant future. Don’t judge me. Let’s go. 

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