Category Archives: Unsolicited advice

How do I get men to seek help with their mental health?

I have two questions for you. First one: if there was a dodgy step on the staircase in your house, how long would it take you to fix it? Let’s say that the step itself is mostly irritating, but occasionally dangerous. You have to remember to jump over it every time you go up or down stairs, but sometimes you forget and your foot just plunges straight through, causing you to twist your ankle, or worse. When close friends and lovers come round to visit you, they often get trapped by your dodgy step, then extract themselves and help you patch it up. Most of them recommend you call a carpenter. So, first question is: how long would it take you to get it fixed? Question two: how’s your mental health lately?

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What does ‘fuck buddy’ really mean?

In romantic contexts, I’ve often heard people say thank you to their lovers for teaching them what ‘love’ really means. Today, I want to thank the man who taught me the true meaning of ‘fuck buddy.’

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How to have your dick sucked: guide to receiving blow jobs

I’m a very enthusiastic cocksucker: I enjoy the art of giving blow jobs (and yes, sucking dick is an art thanks very much). My partner is exceptionally good at receiving blow jobs. When I mentioned this on Twitter the other day a few people responded by saying they wished they’d picked up that particular life skill. Some of them were joking, but I don’t care, because it’s an excellent excuse for me to point out that getting your dick sucked actually is a skill. And it’s one you can learn, with practice. Here’s a quick guide to receiving blow jobs.

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Terrible sex tips: How to be bad in bed

To be honest I struggle to explain to people how they can be good in bed. When asked for sex advice, my answers are boring and waffly, because being ‘good in bed’ depends so much on your own desires, and those of your partner. But the other day I re-watched ‘How To Maximise Misery’ by CGP Grey, and I figured it may be easier to explain things the other way round. So here’s how to be really bad in bed. I should warn you in advance, though: while all humans have the capacity to be a bit bad in bed, being truly bad in bed requires dedication and hard work…

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“I’m jealous and insecure. Can you help me?”

“Who’s this?” I ask him, hand shaking as I hold the phone, complete with text that I definitely wish I hadn’t read. It’s the first time in my life that I realise I’m jealous. Until then I had never expected to be. He shakes his head in reply, mumbles, and tells me that he fucked her.

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