Sometimes I wish I could see the future before I make an important decision. I’d jump at the chance to gaze into a murky crystal ball and find out which relationships would work out, which heartbreaks I could avoid, which projects would be successful. But if I really could see the future, I’d probably have had less fun.
Two things this week – a couple of things you should check out in the world of sex news. The first is an incredible (or incredibly awful) job as a porn censor for the UK Government, the second is a book of sex advice that I have been reading and thoroughly enjoying…
I’ve been asked before about the best sex I’ve ever had – the question itself is a weird one. Much as I love ranking things, it’s truly hard to choose a ‘best’ shag, because the criteria will change depending on my mood. Do you mean ‘best sex’ in terms of filthiness? Sheer pleasure? Bucket-list options ticked off? If you ask me about the best sex, I’ll need a bit of clarification on terms. But if you ask me about the best sex with any specific guy, I can usually give you an answer. It just might not be the one you would expect.
Amidst all this hate it can be tricky to remember that we’re supposed to be approaching the most loving day of the year. Valentine’s Day: when everyone who has someone is urged to go and blow a load of money to prove how deep their love is. Or just to show that they’re able to remember an arbitrary date. Or because there was a 2-for-1 offer on heart-shaped chocolates and they simply couldn’t resist. In my line of work, I’m generally expected to write something Valentines-y, ideally with a selection of unique Valentine’s Day gifts with which to surprise your loved ones.
I’m a woman on the internet, so men explain things to me. They’re usually well-meaning. They want to help me out with an issue they have spotted, or give me the lowdown on something they think I should know. However, they also often assume a certain lack of knowledge on my part, around topics that I know already.
At the start of 2016, I started collecting examples. Here are a select few of my favourites.