Once a month blood trickles from my vagina. I do beg your pardon for this – I know I should hide my monthly shame from you, because this is a sex blog and menstruation is grotesque, so I should really only talk about it in whispers. But it’s worth mentioning because a new product has arrived on the market that could mean I never have to show evidence of menstruation ever again – even when I am shagging the guy I am closest to in the whole wide world! Joy! Celebration! Let’s all pretend that periods don’t happen because if we think about it too much we’ll never fuck again!
Answer the question quickly before you have too much time to think: which kind of dicks are better – growers or showers? ‘Growers’ meaning dicks which look fairly small when flaccid, but ‘grow’ a lot while they’re getting erect, ‘showers’ meaning dicks which get hard during erection, but ‘show’ most of their size even when flaccid. Which is better – grower or shower? Got your answer? OK, let’s get into this.
I love bras. I literally never leave the house without wearing one. Even if I am just popping to the shop to get milk – a task which takes a maximum of three minutes – I will still put on a bra before I go, and I will be a million times happier for it. I know lots of people hate them, so I just wanted to raise my voice in a joyous shout in defence of bras: I LOVE THEM.
He’s on the phone in the living room and I can hear one half of the conversation. I understand about twenty percent of it. The other eighty percent is a delicious mixture of authority, skill, and words I don’t really understand that are directly related to his job. A job which I know he is pretty fucking good at. I boil the kettle. I grind coffee beans. I prepare him a coffee so delicious that when he gets off the phone he’ll acquiesce to my request: please please please can I suck your dick now? He’s in ‘work mode’ and it’s intensely sexy – I want to start from flaccid, and have the joy of sucking him hard.
Wow, it’s been a while since I last did a sex news update (aka ‘two things‘) – sorry I’ve been a bit off the ball. This week, I wanted to highlight ‘sexperiments’ – those people who write articles about how they’ve made themselves shag every day for a month to save their marriage – and also let you know that tickets for Eroticon 2018 are on sale now. If you are – or want to be – a sex blogger or erotic writer, there’s time to pick up a cheap ticket in advance for next year.