In which I try to write about the newest sex toy in my collection – the Zumio – without having to run back to my bedroom for another quick go on it just to ‘check’ it’s as cool as I think it is.
Yesterday some poor soul wrote in to the Guardian to ask why his girlfriend masturbates after sex. His assumption was that it was because she was ‘insatiable’, and the agony aunt explained that perhaps she just fancied a second orgasm, or wanted to pleasure herself without the potential anxiety or pressure of doing it in front of him. My answer is a lot more sweary and pretty NSFW, but here goes: maybe the sex made her really, really horny.
I wear sexy boots because I imagine they make me look better when I’m bent over and being fucked. I wear boots because they make me feel powerful. And I wear boots because without them I am just a person, and a person is a frightening thing to be.
It’s a present.
For your dick.
Today I want to talk about the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV – far too long a name for a really awesome thing. But this isn’t really a post about the Tenga Flip Zero EV: it is a love letter to dick toys. An explanation of why I love them even though I don’t have a dick myself. And above all it’s a detailed account of why it is so hot to watch my boyfriend spunk into a tube of squishy plastic.