Category Archives: The human body

I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, but never this

There’s one word no one’s ever used to describe me. Well, OK there are probably plenty. No one’s ever described me as ‘svelte’ or ‘pious’, after all. I’ve never heard ‘classy’ except through a thick layer of sarcasm, while I’m in the throes of strawpedo-ing a bottle of Lambrini. But the particular word I’m thinking of is something I have always wanted to be. I’ve longed for it, yearned for it, aspired to become it, and spent my whole life failing. Until recently.

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The one question you should ask of everyone you date

Are you looking for a long term relationship? Here’s the one question you should ask of everyone you date. It’s going to sound weirdly specific, and has little to do with compatibility or shared interests or personality matching, but bear with me please because I think it’s worth it. The question you should ask of everyone you date is: would you come to Moorfield’s eye hospital with me at five o’clock in the morning?

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Guest blog: Top surgery turned me into a tit man

A few months ago I wrote about what it feels like to have tits. I love and enjoy mine and I’m very grateful for every squishy, bouncy inch of them. But not everyone feels the same way, and when I published the audio on Patreon, the lovely Dr Phoenix Andrews shared his take on tits and I asked if he’d be up for expanding into a guest blog: “I couldn’t enjoy them until mine were gone, and now you can’t stop me playing with them.” If you don’t know him already, do follow @thatdocphoenix.com on BlueSky for insightful political takes and occasional sexy tattooed thirst traps. And dive in to his incredible guest blog about tits: why he’s definitely a tit man, but he had to get rid of his own before he could appreciate them…

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Wish you were here

I wish you were here.

With me.

Right now.

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This summer’s sluttiest looks for men

As a shameless fan of men, one of the things I look forward to about summer is seeing so many of them out and about slutting it up. Shorts, vest tops, lovely bald heads slathered in sunscreen… you know the drill. I consider it not just my pleasure but my moral duty to occasionally objectify men, so that dudes can experience themselves through the eyes of a woman who is red hot for what they’ve got. Let us begin.

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