Girl on the Net

When I first requested a cute little butt plug starter kit from my site sponsor WhippleTickle (seamless promo, well done me) I had a plan in mind: I knew exactly who I’d use it with, and how. But for reasons I’ll explain later, that won’t happen now. So I basically have two options if I want to fulfill my promise to one of the kind companies that helps keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. I could write you a straight-up review where I give this product marks out of ten based on basic details or… write two thousand words of horny butt plug porn then chuck a link and discount at the end for you to click when you’re all done wanking. And… you know… have you met me?

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As is my custom, when Jenby emailed to let me know she had a new pitch for a guest blog, I immediately squealed with delight. If you’re new here, you should know that Jenby (aka @JenetalTorture on Twitter) is the most prolific guest blogger on this site, and she’s also recorded some of her outrageously hot adventures as audio porn. I am always grateful to her for introducing me to cool new kinks – bimbofication, surveillance, twinning, lactation and lots more. Today she is here to share a kickass, horny and playful story about going to a high protocol kink event. What exactly does ‘high protocol’ involve? Will it be seriousness all the way down? Over to her…

The following piece contains needle play, BDSM, whipping/flogging, the use of ‘slave’ in a kink context, piss, trampling and electroplay. 

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There’s never a bad time to hear this, right? You deserve to be loved. I don’t mean, in a basic way, that you as an individual are entitled to romantic love, or sex or companionship or whatever: those things can only be given freely, if other individuals choose. I mean that you deserve to be treated with love, by those who say they feel it. You deserve to be loved by them in practice, not just words.

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Many years ago I used to write for a website called The Debrief: a magazine-style site run by Bauer Media that has since disappeared. Thanks to my recent sex blogging anniversary (I’ve now been doing this for ELEVEN YEARS!) I’ve been taking a few trips down memory lane and contemplating how lucky I am to have spent so long making a living from what I can only describe as ‘this horny bullshit.’ The Debrief gave me a great start in freelance writing, and my editor allowed me the freedom to do some pretty awesome stuff: writing sex position guides which were entirely gender neutral (a practice that was rare in 2014, and which often got sub-edited back into ‘he’ and ‘she’ if I submitted similar pieces to other magazines); smashing stigma around things like period sex and discharge; writing articles about how to wank in front of someone without feeling like a complete tit; even getting to interview fucking STOYA. You know Stoya? Off of porn? I met her in real life! We chatted for ages about the problems with tube sites and I learned so much from her. I had a blast, that’s the point. And I got paid £100 per article for doing it. All the stuff I wrote for The Debrief disappeared along with the website, but it still exists in my email. And as I’m feeling nostalgic, I thought I’d share one of my faves. This is a piece I wrote in 2014, when I emailed a bunch of my ex partners and asked them to review my performance in bed. You’ve met some of these people on the pages of this blog, and I’ll catch you up on who’s who at the end. Here’s what they thought of my shagging skillz when I popped into their inboxes ten years ago to ask their opinion…

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This week’s guest post has me running eagerly to you yelling ‘THIS!’ – this is one of my absolute top fantasies, being loaned out by a lover to one of his friends and generally used and treated like a shareable toy. There’s something so delicious about the idea of being handed around like a particularly slutty package, and I think that this incredible guest writer – Vixen – has elevated it even further in the hotness by quoting from the actual voice notes sent between the men while she got thoroughly used. Please find yourself a quiet, private space and… ahem… enjoy.

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