Why don’t humans ever roar during sex? You know, just letting out a proper, full-throated, guttural roar which shakes the very walls of the bedroom you happen to be fucking in. Luckily, although humans are incapable of doing this, the latest episode of Dynasties on the BBC has the next best thing: 22 seconds of full-throated, hot-blooded tiger sex. It’s the most erotic thing I have ever seen in my life.
It’s that time of year again! You know the one, where you run around shopping centres or scroll listlessly through Amazon hoping inspiration might strike. If you’re a bit like me, you’ll be a very last-minute shopper. If you’re a lot like me, you’ll be thinking ‘shit, I have to get my other half something really good because last year he got me a selection of thoughtful treats and I just panic-bought some Lego Technic.’ Fear not. If you’re shopping for someone you’re boning, I’ve compiled a selection of some of my sex product highlights from 2018: NSFW Christmas gifts that come with my personal seal of lust.
When my partner is sad, he wilts like a plant. I can sometimes tell he’s sad, despite him putting in his best efforts to try and make me think he’s fine, and for a long time I struggled with knowing how to cheer him up. The kind words and reassurances and ‘I love you’s that usually work on me have very little effect on him. But I think I’ve cracked it now – the closest I can come to a ‘cheat code’ for love. His ‘love language’: cuddles.
How good are you at taking a compliment? Be honest, now: do you take them on board and ponder them until you genuinely understand what the person complimenting you means? Or do you tend to let them get filtered out through the hodgepodge of insecurities that you’ve accumulated over the years? I am rubbish at taking a compliment, but occasionally I get flashes of what the world might look like if I could properly take them on board.