What are the best sex toys?

People often ask me for sex toy recommendations, so in this wildly boring but nevertheless helpful post, I’m going to tell you the top sex toys I’d save if my house was burning down and I only had time to grab a few. The main reason for me writing this post is because I am short of both content and cash, but I appreciate that sex toy recommendations are far less interesting than stories about having dildo orgies or watching my other half do a sexy genderfuck striptease. So here’s my offer: I will tell you about the best sex toys I own (i.e. the ones I use most often), you go buy them if you want, I’ll get some money, and then on Sunday I’ll publish some Halloween erotica story that isn’t trying to sell you anything at all. Deal? OK.

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Friendly fuck: Saturday night sleepovers

This is one of a bunch of random fiction pieces loosely gathered under the concept of ‘emotional fucks‘. Most of them are a bit vicious and harsh – hate fuck, pity fuck, spite fuck – because those are the ones I enjoy writing most, but very occasionally my heart becomes squishy and I have to write something nice. This one’s a friendly fuck… 

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Guest blog: Change my mind – an erotic hypnosis story

I am super-excited to welcome Jenby (@JenetalTorture) back – author of September’s incredible guest blog about impact play, and getting spanked with one’s own book. Today’s topic? Erotic hypnosis: the act of putting someone under and controlling their mind for kinky play purposes. I have to admit my ignorance on this topic – although I’ve read about erotic hypnosis before, my knowledge on hypnosis in general is limited to one hilarious live show where I got to watch my sister doing weird shit while ‘under’, and one absurdly expensive and entirely unsuccessful session where I paid someone to hypnotise me in the hope it would make me quit smoking. Spoiler: it did not. So I’m delighted to have Jenby back to give a peek into what it’s like to get hypnotised for the first time…

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Obligation sex: should you fuck when you’re not in the mood?

A few years ago I went to a PR launch for a sex thing. Alongside the free champagne (woo!) there was a discussion about ‘obligation sex’ – whether you should make yourself shag sometimes even when you’re not in the mood, to keep the spark alive in your relationship. A sex blogger who I respected a lot was there (she, along with the free champagne, was what tempted me out of the house), and during the discussion she argued that you should have obligation sex. That making yourself shag could be the glue that held your relationship together even when other things were falling apart. I remember being shocked by her answer, because my gut instinct was to disagree. But I really liked her, and there’d been a lot of free champagne, so all I left with was a fuzzy head and a vague feeling that ‘obligation sex’ didn’t sound like much fun at all.

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Pedestals and playfulness: notes on my muse

He breezes into the kitchen, grins at me in a self-satisfied way and proudly tells me “look!” before whipping out his cock. And I think ‘Ahh… my muse.’ My beloved muse. My weird, nerdy, playful, dodgy, nervous wreck of a muse.

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  • About Girl on the Net

    Girl on the Net is a London-based sex blogger – she writes explicit sex stories, so please consider this whole site NSFW. Alongside real-life sex stories, expect posts about feminism, porn, mental health, and fascinating fetishes. Now one of the biggest sex blogs in the UK, Girl on the Net began sex blogging in September 2011, so feel free to dig through the archive and find out just how ignorant and/or clumsy she was when she first began. If you're an aspiring sex blogger, check out these tips on how to start a sex blog.