All Posts – Page 164
Guest blog: It started with a kiss
This week’s guest blogger is the fabulous @DivaFoof Joanne! To introduce her guest blog I’m going to tell you two things I love about her. Firstly, she has a really lovely voice – she recently recorded one of my audio porn posts, on being fucked while my partner watches porn, and if you haven’t heard it yet you should totally listen before you read this post. Having heard her read smut before, I can’t help but read the post below and hear her lovely voice ringing in my ears. It’s a delightfully sexy account of an eager fuck, and – second thing I love about her – the fast-paced, almost breathless way she writes is really evocative of those fucks that you simply have to get down to quickly…
Threesome with a fucking machine
A while ago, the lovely folks over at Doxy commissioned me to write a couple of erotic stories for their site. Recently, because they are lovely and kind and they want you all to have the BEST wanks, they gave me the go-ahead to upload it in full here – as text and audio porn. It’s all about a woman who goes hunting for a guy to help her realise her dream: having a threesome with a fucking machine.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt
American comedian Samantha Bee is in ridiculously hot water this week, after calling Ivanka Trump a ‘feckless cunt’ on her TV show. People – by which I mean mostly American right-wingers – are up in arms because calling the daughter of the US President a ‘cunt’ is apparently one of the most heinous things you can do. So let’s talk about the word ‘cunt’, shall we?
Eye contact challenge: can you keep your eyes open for an entire fuck?
Join me on a journey of self-discovery and intensely powerful shagging as I take part in a challenge that scared the shit out of me: making eye contact for the entire duration of a fuck.
PCOS and hair removal: why can’t I stop doing this?
I shave my legs every couple of weeks. My armpits more frequently – maybe once or twice each week. I pluck my eyebrows when I spot a stray hair, and get them threaded when I can brave the salon. Then occasionally I cover my neck, chest and stomach in hair removal cream, lie on the bathroom floor like a melting snowman, and wait for the hair to burn off. I have PCOS, and Sisyphus has nothing on me.