Category Archives: The human body
What happens when you lose your virginity?
The evening I lost my virginity I lay awake in bed staring at the wall, willing myself to feel special. I assumed that with that magical penis-in-vagina moment, something fundamental about me would change. I couldn’t put my finger on what, exactly – I didn’t expect sparks, or revelations, or for the world to burst into glorious technicolour like it did in the Wizard of Oz. I just thought I’d feel… different.
I didn’t, and looking back at that moment as an adult that’s a blessed relief. Imagine if there really were a significant change bestowed upon someone just because they happened to have completed a particular sex act. If it shone out of them like a traffic light, blinking ‘green’ for ‘has fucked’. It’d be quite disturbing, not to mention really awkward over breakfast with your family.
Edging: the hotness of aching to come, and the moment you finally do
He sent me a picture of it once – swollen, bright red, and leaking a fat, shiny drop of pre-come. Skin so taut I could tell he’d been edging, even if he hadn’t told me. Seven days’ worth, if I remember correctly. Seven days of edging – touching it, stroking it, playing gently enough that he wouldn’t quite climax. Until the whole thing ached and he had to go to extreme lengths to get settled down before he had to leave the house. Digging fingernails into his thighs, cold water, that kind of thing…
Giving up bad sex habits
“What’s that?”
“A spreadsheet of my best wanking times.”
He didn’t even ask why. He just laughed, rolled his eyes, and then wandered into the kitchen to make coffee. But, for the record, I am compiling a spreadsheet of my wanking times, so that I can eventually graph the results and post a blog about it. Why?
A new thing for 2015 in which we give away free sex toys
UPDATE March 2016: I’ve put this on hold for the moment, for lots of different reasons. I’ll try and revisit it at some point, but for now please don’t submit any more sex fairies requests.
Ever wanted to test a particular sex toy, or fancied trying your hand at sex blogging? Well, now you can do both, and get paid for it.
As a sex blogger, I am frequently offered new toys to try out – from intense vibrators to amazing bits of bondage equipment. Unfortunately, I find it easier to write hot stories than reviews (other people do sex toy reviews way better than I ever could), and I’d need at least twenty-five lovers and a hell of a lot of clones to cover everything.
So I thought I’d throw the opportunity open to you, and give my sponsor the opportunity to play ‘benevolent sex fairy’ at the same time. If there’s a sex toy (or lingerie set, item of bondage equipment, brand of lube or anything else) that you’ve always wanted to try, then SexToys.co.uk has kindly agreed to make your dreams come true.
The topless snowball fight
Hovering near the top of my ‘missed opportunities’ list, somewhere just behind ‘never getting round to that gangbang dinner party’ is a snowy afternoon in the early noughties.
Remember that time in your life when you were most carefree? Happiest? Most content in your body and intensely, hornily desperate to use it? Well, mine was around about then. Just before I’d started shagging, but long after I’d discovered boys. My weekends and evenings were spent huddled in whispering, weed-smoking, cider-swilling groups, competing with each other to contrive more imaginative ways we could get touched up by our equally-horny peers.
I miss those times.