Category Archives: Ranty ones
Rebranding feminism: the planning meeting
Hi everyone: welcome to this, the meeting in which we aim to rebrand feminism, an exercise that countless people have insisted is vital. As a feminist, I’m often told that the word needs to be changed, or that feminism’s image must be improved, and because I’ve heard the phrase ‘rebranding feminism’ at least seven hundred times over the course of 2014, I thought 2015 should be the year we roll up our sleeves and get on with it.
Please take a seat, help yourself to coffee, and try not to fight over the chocolate biscuits.
What’s your ‘magic number’?
I have a list of all the people I’ve fucked. I know, that sounds intensely weird, and also a little bit creepy. I compiled it many years ago after a long, hazy night in a bar in Amsterdam, during which a good friend and I tried to work out what our ‘magic numbers’ were. I wasn’t particularly bothered about the total, but the exercise gave me pause for thought, and subsequent enraged weeping, when I realised that I couldn’t remember everyone’s name.
I thought I’d got it right at first. I counted people off on my fingers, smiling with glee when I got to a particularly good one, hissing when I reached the name of a person who’d fucked me over, and reminiscing over some of the filthier moments of my life. He did the same, regaling me with some sexy anecdotes as we sipped pints and hoped no one would notice that we were flagrantly ignoring the weird ‘you can smoke weed but not cigarettes’ rule that had just come into force.
Eventually, we both settled on our final numbers, and we clinked glasses – delighted at our powers of recollection.
An hour or so later, a cold dread crept over me: I’d missed one out. Not just any one either – a pretty significant guy, with whom I’d had some fairly intense experiences. Back to the mental drawing board, and the back of a napkin to make notes. And eventually the final list which, while possibly a bit strange, was a godsend when it came to writing my book: it meant I got the chapters in the right order and didn’t have to go back to cram in a quick fuck that I’d somehow forgotten.
The tragedy of older women
I suspect this might be a first time this warning’s been put on a sex blog, but the following post contains spoilers for this year’s Doctor Who Christmas Special. I promise you it’s relevant.
My Mum finds it hard to get served at the bar.
I’ve seen it happen: she’ll be there for twice as long as most other people. She waits, purse in hand, trying to catch the eye of the bar staff, and making sure that she’s standing assertively. She’s not shy or nervous, hanging back or offering her place in line to other people – she’s just there, prominent yet invisible. Unnoticed. And people around her – younger people, and older men, nip ahead and throw their orders in.
And she waits.
Guest blog: Withdrawal symptoms – how to withdraw consent
If you’ve been following the criticism of the oppressive changes to UK porn regulations, you’ll probably have seen one or two (or thousands of) people spitting outrage over the definitions of ‘moderate’ pain and consent. While consent in porn is absolutely vital, the censors have made a pretty huge mistake in how they categorise it – believing that consent is something which should be determined by an objective third party, rather than the people who are playing.
It’s for this reason that they’ve said porn with a bound and gagged subject will be censored – apparently there’s no clear means of withdrawing consent.
Please welcome Jenny, who is here to demonstrate just how utterly ridiculous that assumption is.
The 12 sex blog search terms of Christmas
If you want to find out just how interesting people can be, and just how many people share similar hot fantasies, you could look in worse places than a sex blog’s search bucket. People type all manner of excellent things into Google and eventually end up at my site – from ‘100 girl orgy’ to ‘my wife fucking a butternut squash.’
So I thought I’d do a bit of a meta-post looking at some of the cooler ones, and given that it’s nearly Christmas I’ve given them a festive theme. I know, right? If I shoehorn any more topical relevance into this post they’ll feature it on Sky News.
I’m obliged to do something Christmassy, though, and given that I’ve already written a Christmas gift guide, I thought I’d combine my love of Google Analytics and my desire for festive singalongs, and replace the lyrics to ’12 days of Christmas’ with sex blog search terms people have used over the last year. Sing it in your head to the tune or all my work will have been wasted.