A few months ago I wrote about what it feels like to have tits. I love and enjoy mine and I’m very grateful for every squishy, bouncy inch of them. But not everyone feels the same way, and when I published the audio on Patreon, the lovely Dr Phoenix Andrews shared his take on tits and I asked if he’d be up for expanding into a guest blog: “I couldn’t enjoy them until mine were gone, and now you can’t stop me playing with them.” If you don’t know him already, do follow @thatdocphoenix.com on BlueSky for insightful political takes and occasional sexy tattooed thirst traps. And dive in to his incredible guest blog about tits: why he’s definitely a tit man, but he had to get rid of his own before he could appreciate them…

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Almost every guy I have ever dated has told me that if they had tits themselves, they’d spend all day just staring at and playing with them. I am not getting ready to snark, or shame anyone for saying this, in fact I completely understand. Tits are fucking awesome. The thing that makes me horniest about my own body is the excellent rack stuck to the front of it. Although I don’t spend all day groping them or staring (I’m a busy girl), I do spend a fairly sizeable chunk of my time being aware of them – enjoying how they look and feel – so I thought I’d have a go at answering the unspoken question hovering beneath all those comments from all those past boyfriends. Here’s what it feels like to have tits.

Note: I’m a cis woman who has mostly dated cis dudes. I’ve tried not to be too gendered in this because tits are not exclusive to one gender, but my perspective is naturally coloured by my experiences. 

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Another incredible guest blog this week from Jenby, this time about a type of pet play that is genuinely new to me – more research into this required, because as soon as I read her post I immediately understood why this is so fucking sexy and compelling. ‘Hucow’ is a form of kinky pet play in which one person plays a dairy cow. Crucially ‘dairy’, because they are milked. Mmmmm… milked. Naturally, being able to literally produce one’s own milk is something of a bonus when it comes to becoming a hucow…

Note: contains ‘Mummy’ as an honorific. All participants are well over the age of 18. And also human, obvs. 

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I almost don’t need to write intros for these posts, because I figure all I need to do is ring a giant bell and shout “HEY HEY! JENBY IS BACK!” and you know that what is coming will be fun, hot, and creatively kinky. Her most recent piece was an incredibly horny account of using the new hot pink Doxy to give her girlfriend ‘full-on eye-rolling, spasming, practically-levitating-from-demonic-possession’ orgasms. Today’s guest blog is especially incredible, because she is talking about how she came to get her body to do something that I’ve always been fascinated by (and never done myself) – lactation! Note before we begin that Jenby is going to explain how she managed to start lactating, and that involves certain drugs that help to stimulate milk production – nothing in this post (or anywhere on this blog) constitutes medical advice though, so if you’re hoping to go on the same journey yourself please do talk to a doctor before you begin. This post also contains ageplay and the use of ‘Mommy’ as an honorific – all participants are consenting adults.

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I’m so excited about this week’s guest blog, because it’s a gorgeous exploration of the relationship between the guest blogger and her body, specifically her breasts. Please welcome Jannette Davies, from Scarlet Ladies Talk.

Jannette co-founded Scarlet Ladies in February 2015, and together with her co-founder Sarah Beilfuss, she runs events where women can openly discuss and explore their sexuality and bodies – and dispel a few myths along the way. Their events have got lots of people talking, and they sound like a lot of fun. Their next event is Body Bliss – a day-long retreat in London aimed at helping you explore – and hopefully fall in love with – your body.

Her story is personal, funny and relatable: all the things I like best.

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