When men are sexist, the least I can do is tell them not to be. I should say ‘nope’ or ‘fuck off’ or ‘are you shitting me?’ – sexist men deserve challenging responses. The last thing they deserve is for me to play along. Smile and nod and say ‘haha yes’, before sidling away and then kicking myself later. That’s the last thing they deserve, but it’s sometimes what I do.
Brace yourselves, because I want to make an argument that isn’t made that often. I want to explain why rejection can be a valuable gift. Often, rejection is good for you. I’m not just talking here about sex mistakes you could avoid – get rejected by a hot person who later turns out to be awful, for instance. I’m talking about what ‘no’ actually means, and why often someone’s ‘no’ is far more precious than a ‘yes.’
Lots of people bemoan the fact that social media is a bubble, filled only with people who agree with you. It gives a skewed worldview, and leads to things like me weeping with bitter tears the morning after the Brexit vote, because I couldn’t quite believe the world wasn’t quite as I’d imagined it. But there are up-sides: your Twitter feed, properly curated, can essentially be a long list of people whose opinions, ideas, and words you find sexy. Given this, you may want to consider fucking them.
How did I chat people up before? When I was single, and I had to put some effort in beyond just saying “Your dick. My mouth. Now”?
I think I probably started with a hint: a story about this one time at college, leading to a detailed breakdown of who did what. But where there were strangers, now there’s one guy. Where there were hints, now there’s directness:
“Your dick. My mouth. Now.”
You might have noticed that I’ve been a bit lax on guest blogs for the last few months. Time and money have conspired to mean I haven’t been able to publish any. But now they’re back, and this first one – on holiday sex – by AB is going live because two things about it appealed to me.
Firstly, it’s a lovely holiday sex story, and not only do I love sex but I am also on holiday next week (OK, at Eroticon), so I can tie in the guest blog with a note that if I might not be super responsive over the next week or two.
Secondly, because when AB sent it to me, they said they’ve never written anything like this before, and I am a total sucker for any and all first times. Enjoy.