Sexy stories! They’re more than just erotic: mine can be filthy, dirty, naughty, dark, taboo, intense, joyful, weird, confusing, delicious and wrong. And each and every one of these words is hot to me, in the right context. But someone asked recently if ‘filthy’ sex might be the wrong way to describe it, and asked: given the negative connotations of the word ‘filthy’, should we abandon that word in favour of ones which come with a little less baggage?
American comedian Samantha Bee is in ridiculously hot water this week, after calling Ivanka Trump a ‘feckless cunt’ on her TV show. People – by which I mean mostly American right-wingers – are up in arms because calling the daughter of the US President a ‘cunt’ is apparently one of the most heinous things you can do. So let’s talk about the word ‘cunt’, shall we?
I disappoint men regularly. In real life I disappoint them by forgetting their birthdays or accidentally baking them cakes that turn out to be raw in the middle. Professionally I disappoint men (and non-men) by not replying to their emails quickly enough, or sending invoices dated ‘2016’ because I am forgetful and will probably keep doing that until at least July. I try to fix these little disappointments, at the same time as I try to remind myself that we’re all a bit disappointing sometimes.
But on this blog, there’s one way in which I disappoint men that I have no intention of fixing.
Language is important, and words matter. I’ll assume you’re with me this far, because you’re reading a sex blog rather than looking at naughty pictures on one of those other websites I’ve heard about. Words are fucking sexy. They can also be truly appallingly inadequate, and nowhere is this more clear than when trying to describe something hot only to find you have none of the right tools to do it properly. Today I would like your help in renaming one of the sexiest parts of human anatomy: the penile raphe. What exactly is the penile raphe? Allow me to explain.
I’ve wanted to write about sensual masturbation for a really, really long time. This rant has taken about three months to percolate in my mind, and eventually boil over – I estimate that’s roughly 2.5 months longer than the total time I’ve spent wanking in my entire adult life.