I am not very good at saying ‘no’ to fun stuff. Some people have told me I have an ‘addictive personality’, but I think I just have no willpower. If something is available that gives me pleasure (cigarettes, dick, [redacted in case my Mum ever stumbles across this], wine, vodka, massively powerful wand vibrators, chocolate-covered peanuts, McCoy’s salt and vinegar crisps, etc etc etc) then I rarely have the inner strength to turn it down. So often the only way for me to avoid getting sucked in to unhealthy obsession with something is to avoid trying it in the first place. Unfortunately for me, Hot Octopuss is a sponsor of my website, so I was duty-bound to try out their new Kurve g-spot vibe: now I am addicted. Fuck you, Hot Octopuss.
A while back, my site sponsors Hot Octopuss offered to bring some sex toy joy to lockdown by giving away a few of their awesome wank toys. As I’ve already written about many of Hot Octopuss’ kickass sex toys, I asked people to email me with fun new ideas on what they’d like to do with the sex toys on offer. Enter Tess, whose idea leapt out at me immediately, sitting as it does at the neat intersection of nerdery and hotness: she wanted to explore whether gaming with sex toys (i.e. playing her usual video games but with a Hot Octopuss Pulse vibe to distract her) could help her achieve some deliciously fun, edging-style orgasms. I think you’ll agree that although her gaming strategy fell by the wayside, the experiment was definitely worthwhile…
As far as feats of sexual contortionism go, I thought Oxy had climbed the giddiest possible height when he wrote this guest blog about managing to suck his own cock. But I was wrong. Self-administered oral sex, it turns out, isn’t just for those with dicks. Today, Sara Cane (@saracanewrites) has a blow-by-blow (or should that be ‘lick-by-lick’?) account of how she used to lick her own clit. The whys, the hows, and the wildly impressive feats of self-contortion.
I could show you how to fuck me till I come, if you really want me to. You don’t need to perform or practice or keep an eye out for the sexy faces I make, reading them like I’m an ancient text you need to try and decipher. If you want to fuck me till I come, I can show you. (more…)
Lockdown plays havoc with my horn, and I know I’m not alone. A brief survey of ‘most people I know’ tells me most of us are struggling with very weird lockdown libido. Sometimes we’re numb to the very idea of sex, and wanking feels so alien that we wonder how we could ever have stomached touching our own genitals before. At other times we’re climbing the walls, wanking twelve times a day then yelling BRING ME MORE FUCK like some sex-starved Henry VIII.