“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come. We’re sitting side-by-side on the sofa, him covered in spunk and me casually discarding the dildo and Zumio I used to get there myself. On the TV the porn scene we were watching still plays: porn with no plot, just a couple of people having a vigorous and sexy shag. He reaches for the controller to switch it off as I try to put into words what ‘the plot of that porn’ really was.

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I’m a woman who has had a hell of a lot of grotty, functional, hungover wanks, so I was over the moon when today’s guest blog landed in my inbox. Please welcome Hazel Southwell, who is here to give you an intense and intimate journey through the pleasures (and frustrations) of solo sex in grotty hotels and hostels all across the world. Travel with us to some exotic locations, while remembering that some things stay the same no matter where you are…

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My partner has a beautiful dick. Really, truly, astonishingly gorgeous. For quite a long time I’ve nurtured a fantasy about cloning his cock with one of the dick-moulding kits, so I can get DP’d by two identical cocks. Seeing as we’re now rich in time and short on projects, we decided to get stuck in. The results of our cloning efforts are impressively accurate, and have laid the groundwork for some filthier blog posts to come a little further down the line. In the meantime, though, if you want to play along at home, here’s how you can clone your dick too.

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This self-bondage story, by sex blogger Molly Moore, originally appeared on her site.

The rope has been lying on the floor by his side of the bed for a few days now. It got discarded there after he used it to tie a body harness on me so that he could secure the Doxy between my thighs.

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This hot mutual masturbation erotica, by sex blogger and podcaster Sherryl Blu, originally appeared on her website.

I like a good ole wank… daily!

I’d wake in the morning, just gagging and if I didn’t satisfy that urge early on, it’s like my day was doomed.

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