Drinking water is pretty miraculous, isn’t it? It’s delicious and refreshing in the morning – a lovely little wake-up treat. It’s a calming joy before bedtime, hydrating and nourishing you without adding caffeine or sugar that might keep you awake for too long. A glass or bottle of water is a good thing to hold while you’re chatting – you can sip on it to punctuate a sentence or fill a silent gap. And best of all… it’s fucking GOOD FOR YOU! Not only are you allowed to have it whenever you want, but 100% of doctors agree that we need it in order to live.

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Welcome, readers, to the next guest post in a series I like to call ‘GOTN abuses her guest blog budget by using it to commission loads of pieces about what it feels like to jizz, so she can live vicariously through the kind people who are willing to share their experience.’ Recently Jocket dropped by to share some super-hot tales of trying to increase semen volume. This week we have an anonymous commenter who was kind enough to respond to my shoutout for cum-based posts with some astonishingly detailed descriptions of what it feels like to ejaculate. I’m incredibly grateful, not just for the hot stuff, but for the intensely personal look into someone’s solo sex life…

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This gorgeous caring kink story is written by the Queer Earthling, and originally appeared on their site. It is read aloud here by My Wild Lens. Note that this story contains consensual pain play, nipple clamps, sensation play, kink honorifics including “Daddy,” passing mentions of caregiver-little dynamics, mentions of depression and stress.

Daddy says, “Let’s make it better.” It doesn’t matter what’s wrong, in this story. Maybe I slept badly, maybe I’ve just had a stressful day, maybe my constant low-level depression is creeping in again. But something is wrong, and I can’t quite pull myself out of it.

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Now listen up: I’ve used the phrase ‘semen volume’ in my intro and titles for this incredible guest blog, because Google Keyword Planner tells me it’s searched for more often than the any of the phrases I would naturally use to describe what we’re talking about here. But whether you’re keen to get a massive cum load, a spunk volcano, or a powerful spaff cannon, make no mistake that what we’re talking about here is jizz. Big, thick, sticky shots of it. Mmmmmmmmmm. As a curious and horny person who’s extremely obsessed with spunk, I recently asked on Twitter if anyone with a dick might be up for describing what it feels like to spunk with one. The first person willing to volunteer their experience is Jocket, who wrote this beautiful piece about skin hunger a while back. To answer my thirsty question, he’s offering a perspective on ejaculate that made me positively drool for it, namely: going on a quest to increase semen volume and achieve more intense orgasms.

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You’ve met today’s guest blogger before – Elena Bennet dropped by a few months ago with this gloriously horny post about the sex surge during menopause, bringing everyone a thrill of delight by sharing her sex Renaissance with us all. Today is your opportunity to repay that lovely favour, because she has an important question on which she’d like your advice. If you have too many sex toys and it starts getting tricky to hide them from prying eyes, how the hell do you store them? Take it away Elena – everyone else, do chip in with your tips below.

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