I wrote this last week when I was excited to go to a festival, pondering whether this might be the first time I ever got laid at one. I always have this romantic fantasy of finding a festival boyfriend – someone who I can snog while the bands are on, who then disappears into the night, not seen again until (perhaps) next year. But then every time I go to a festival with the aim of getting laid, I fail. But failure here is sweet and this is why. 

He catches your eye in the beer tent, your festival boyfriend. Gives you a smile and a nod. Mouths ‘cool shirt’ and lifts his plastic pint in a casual salute. You smile back, flushing hot with nervous energy, and wonder if you should go over and say hello. But you’re struggling to catch the attention of the stoner who’s working the bar, and you’ve got to get back to your friends. Besides, by the time you turn round, full hands sticky with cider, he’s gone. Your festival boyfriend has disappeared into the crowd.

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Oh God I am missing festivals so much this year. And as if to taunt my festival-sick heart and taunt my horny body, Ariadne Awakes sent me the most cuntpunchingly beautiful piece about fucking the drummer in a band. I heard the audio before I read the text and frankly it took my breath away. Click ‘listen now’ above to hear Ariadne read it aloud in all it’s lust-fuelled glory, or read it below if you prefer, then go find more of her incredible work at literotica.com under the name Ariadne Awakes, or on twitter @AriadneAwakes where you can find links to more stories, streams of consciousness and details about how you can get in touch to have a custom made audio just for you. Now please join me in revelling in this glorious, brilliant story, and cross your fingers for the end of Covid and return of festivals soon.

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Music and memories: some songs have such a powerful connection to certain memories that I cannot hear them without getting horny. Or sad. Or excited about someone I haven’t seen for years. I’ve talked before about what music can do – from putting you off shagging if a terrible track comes off on a sex playlist to making me want to use your cock just cos I did so the last time this song came on. Today, I’m delighted to welcome back an incredible guest blogger – @OxyFromSg who writes erotica with Phedre Sinclair at this blog right here. Here in my little corner of the internet, Oxy has already delighted us with tales of DIY gloryholes and weird wanks – to share some hot memories, and the music that helps bring them out.

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I hanker for a lot of things from my dating days and my youth. But one of the things I don’t miss is the awkward feeling, early on in a hook up, that the men I wanted to fuck were playing music at me. A fairly common scenario involved me sitting on my hands and trying not to lean in for a kiss too soon, while a hot guy commandeered the stereo, picked an album and told me: “you’re going to love this, I know it.” Few of my dates ever let me pick the music.

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Do me a favour: before you start reading this post, open this song in a brand new browser tab and hit play. Because I want to tell you what this song makes me do: grind heavily on the nearest willing hot guy and demand ‘I want to use your cock.’

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