Tag Archives: spunk

Got milk? A horny email exchange…

This is a very silly sexy thing I wrote back in 2014, around the time I quit my day job and started sex blogging full-time. Back then, I used to have quite a few horny email exchanges like this: part ‘update my other half on my working day’ and part ‘horn for what I’ll do to him when I get home’. Something reminded me of it a few months ago, and I thought it’d be fun to throw it up as audio. Big thanks to Luke (aka @Beardynoise on Twitter) who very kindly helped me bring it to life when we were in the studio.

Mail to: John

Subject: This evening

Hey, just a quick one – I’m going to be back late tonight. Work drinks. Anything you want me to pick up on the way home?

X

p.s. Can’t stop thinking about that thing you did yesterday.

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What’s in a name? Robyn’s magical mouth…

This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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Free use secretary 4: the stationery cupboard

If you’re familiar with the free use secretary stories that I wrote earlier this year, you’ll know what these erotic fiction pieces involve by now: a secretary who has ‘free use‘ (the ability for the boss to fuck her as and when he wants) written into her employment contract. So far in the series, my lovely free use secretary has been interviewed, fucked over a desk while her boss is on the phone to someone else, and then used as a fucktoy to impress visiting clients. In this instalment, she’s cornered in the stationery cupboard by two members of junior management, who decide they want a turn too. If you’d prefer to hear me read it into your headphones, support me on Patreon for access (but don’t worry if you can’t afford to – it’ll go up for free here eventually anyway). Note that as with all the stories in the wank tales series, they’re fantasy, not a way to behave in real life. I enjoy these scenarios in my head, because I have a kink for misogyny. But this one – like the others – involves implied non-consent/coercion, brutality, misogyny, and women being used like we’re merely holes: a fun space to play in theory, but never a way to treat people in the real world.

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I want you to fuck me with an ice cold glass dildo

This gorgeous fantasy about being fucked with an ice cold glass dildo is written and read by Molly Moore, and originally appeared on her website. 

I want you to fuck me with an ice cold glass dildo while your jizz drips out of me.We have been fucking on and off all day. It started with slow sleepy morning sex. You spooning behind me and sliding your morning wood into my cunt. You feel so good inside me like this but I am still a bit sleepy and I don’t bother reaching down to rub my clit but just luxuriate in the feel of your body close up against mine and the thickness of your dick penetrating me. Eventually you roll away and I watch your erection bob in front of you as you pad naked across the room and disappear into the bathroom.

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Send me a cuck (hold me while he fucks me)

Note: this wank tale involves the fetishisation/kinkification of something that I know can be distressing to some people (erectile ‘dysfunction’/delayed (or premature) ejaculation). Know that in real life there is still plenty of fun to be had if you can’t get an erection and coming ‘too soon’ is INCREDIBLY HOT in its own right. However, sometimes things that are distressing can also be hot to kink, and this fantasy about having a horny cuck guy hold my hand while I get fucked by someone else just so happens to lean on that idea. 

You can’t fuck me, that’s the foundation of this. Frame ‘can’t’ however you like, but fundamentally it must be based on something you see as a failing, and my subsequent refusal to let you enter my cunt only serves to enhance your shame at not being good enough. You’re unable to fuck me because you can’t get your dick hard, for instance. Or you’re too prone to coming too quickly or not at all. Perhaps your dick isn’t adequate for what I want: you can’t fuck me intensely enough or fast enough or (better) with the firm, slow strokes that leave every atom of my cunt feeling stretched out and rubbed raw.

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