Today’s guest blog was dictated by Bev (who is in her 70s) to her son (in his 40s), and I’ve tried to only very lightly edit the story as she told it to him. As you all know, I am constantly thirsty for guest blogs from older people about the sex they have and want, because we don’t get to see nearly enough of their stories in popular culture. If you took the lead from films and TV, you could be tricked into thinking that there’s an expiry date on sexual pleasure. You and I know that is not the case, and that it’s important (not to mention horny) to read and share experiences from people who don’t often get sexual representation in mainstream TV and film. To this end, please give a really warm welcome to Bev, and join me in sending her tonnes of love and best wishes for a speedy recovery so she can enjoy her post-chemo hook-up…

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A month or so ago, I abused my power made great use of my platform to post a shout-out on Mastodon for a guest blog that could satisfy one of my long-term curiosities. I wanted to know: what does it feel like to have someone come on your cock? I am, perhaps obviously, fascinated and intrigued by all the different feelings that people with dicks get to experience that I do not, and I figured one of the lovely articulate sex-nerd perverts who followed me might be up for explaining this in detail. And one was! Not just anyone, either: the lovely Starcross, who runs his own blog at Starcross Stories (some of which are available as audio porn too!). His post is so perfect – exactly what I was looking for – that I read it three times before I even started uploading it here to the site. Please enjoy this fabulous explanation of what it feels like to have someone with a vagina come round your cock…

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What’s more satisfying – making someone laugh, or making them come? Don’t think too hard, just answer the question with your first instinct. Laugh or come? Which is more satisfying? I asked this question a while ago on Mastodon and the results were extremely close. Within a few percent of each other. I found this really surprising: I’d expected it to go a very specific way, with a dramatic win for one side. I’m not even like those people who tried to nitpick the poll by saying ‘why not both?’ (because the whole point of the question is that it’s an either/or, ya bellends, really obviously we’d all go for both if that were an option). Anyway. I expected the poll to go decisively one way, because to me there’s no contest whatsoever.

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As with literally any blog post that discusses physical beauty, this piece is going to come with an important note: what I am about to do is fetishise/objectify/admire/wax lyrical about one particular physical feature, but understand that you do not need to have this feature in order to be beautiful. You can be beautiful with whatever you’ve got, there is no one correct way to be visually stunning, and I have dated many gorgeous people who do not happen to share the characteristic I am about to so thoroughly cream my knickers over. In short: not everyone is bald, and that is OK. But my boyfriend happens to be, and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t cast my eyes towards the heaven I’m pretty sure does not exist, to thank a God I definitely don’t believe in for sending me a hot bald guy. I can (and assuredly WILL) write essays later about the joy of dating a hot bald guy from a tactile perspective, but for now I’m taking a rare turn into the visual. Here are my hot bald boyfriend’s three best angles, thank you so much for asking.

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I don’t always ask guest bloggers this question, but I do usually like it if they tell me: is this story true, or a fantasy? I am happy to publish both: fantasies are often a super hot insight into the detail of people’s kinks, even if they can’t be fulfilled in real life. But I’m not ashamed to tell you that I have a penchant for the truth. I enjoy being the one who gets to hear people’s red hot fuckbrags. I like revelling in the knowledge that when someone’s writing something especially filthy, that thing actually happened to them in real life. Anyway. Today’s absolutely incredible femdom office teasing story pressed so many of my buttons, and so many of the buttons that subby men I’ve known in the past had too, that I had to ask him if it was true. You’ll probably be as horny as I was to know that the answer is ‘yes.’ Huge thanks to the lovely (and very good) anonymous writer. Enjoy.

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