“Breathe for me,” he says, all soft-dom calm and patient. I’m lying on my back and his dick is almost inside me. It’s taken a lot of work for us to get to this point. And by ‘work’ I mean, of course, ‘fun’. I’ll explain all that in a second, but for now just know that I’m lying on my back, folded in half, and he’s got his hands on my thighs. Holding my ass at the perfect angle for him to slip his cock in with least resistance. There is still resistance, though, because he’s got girth and I’m lacking in practice. That’s where the meditative breathing comes in.

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It’s 11:24 in the evening, and we’ve already had a phenomenal time. A card, a cute gift, cake even. A devastating fuck that was as playful as it was brutal, which ended in him thoroughly draining his balls nice and deep in my cunt. Off the back of a week when I’ve been showered with kind words and birthday wishes from friends and family, I can’t remember the last time I felt this lucky and calm. Happy, sated and loved. And there are 36 minutes of my birthday still to go, so I ask him: “will you do exactly as I ask until it ends?” Yes, he will. Of course he will. Even though he quite rudely specifies ‘within reason’. As if I’d be anything other than reasonable in my requests…

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Today’s guest blog speaks to me deeply. As a filthy, experienced sex blogger I have dated quite a few people who have worried they’re too ‘vanilla‘ for my tastes. As if once you start trying kink, there’s no going back, and no sex will be good enough unless at least one of you ends up suspended from the ceiling covered in Nuttella. This week’s anonymous contributor gives a funny, sweet account of how she took the news that her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend had more sexual experience than she did. Is ‘vanilla’ an acceptable flavour? I’ll let her give you the answer…

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I get a lot of comments from men who self-identify as ‘shy guys’, and I’m a sucker for a shy guy myself. I love being privileged enough to see the vulnerable side of someone who is usually nervous to let that part of themselves show. This week’s guest blogger – a self-confessed ‘shy guy’ – wanted to write about a time when he managed to open up, let go, and show his lover a phenomenally good time without nerves getting in the way. Take it away MM…

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Regular readers will know that I am a sucker for stories about long-term relationships where sex is a shared joy. I wrote about this a few years ago, and the longing I have for someone I can be with long term, who embarks on sex as a playful adventure. While I tear myself to pieces in the hunt for that, it’s wonderful to hear stories from people who have found their own ways to navigate intimacy in long-term relationships, especially if they’re willing to share the ups and downs of their journey. So I’m delighted to welcome Sean Owen, who writes about intimacy, curiosity and the evolution of long term love and has been with his wife Sophie for 24 years, to do exactly that.

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