What does it take to be a sex blogger? Do you have to be a wildly kinky adventurer, ready to fuck a new person each night and spend your weekend testing new butt plugs? Fuck no. Let’s tackle some common sex blogger myths, and in the process give a vague nod to the fact that this month marks my SEVEN YEAR blogging anniversary.

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“She’s fucked so many guys, when we shag it’s like waving a stick in the Albert Hall.”

“Maybe her cunt’s normal and the problem is that toothpick you’re waving.”

Or maybe both dick and cunt are perfectly fine, and the problem is between your ears rather than in your pants. Let’s talk about bodyshaming and genitals.

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I miss the house parties I used to go to when I was younger. The casual group of people gathering to drink, which turns into a few more people, a bit more music, maybe some drinking games and… sex. Not group sex, necessarily, just ‘I’m really horny is there a room we can go into to fuck?’ sex. Sex that started with a giggling suggestion and wolf-whistles and ‘get a room!’s. Sex that ended by checking someone else’s parents’ bedsheets for spunk.

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Note that this post involves some graphic medical detail about injections and vaginal examinations during an IUD fitting.

The other day a woman put a big needle inside my vagina, and injected me three times in the cervix. I know you don’t like hearing this, my darling, but I really need you to know it. The other day, when getting an IUD fitted, I had three injections in my cervix.

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For this week’s guest blog I’m welcoming back the fabulous @DivaFoof! She’s written some hot smut for me before, about a deliciously BDSM-y shag that started with a kiss, and if you’d like to hear her sultry, sexy voice she’s also recorded some audio porn of my own post – fuck me like you’re wanking. Today she’s here to share a story about an illicit blow job, which ends with the best kind of blow job feedback…

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