This week’s guest blog is by a fantastic fellow blogger – Isabelle Lauren. She writes with touching candour about sex and libido after having a hysterectomy. It’s a brilliant piece, and it gave me an insight into not only one of the ways in which sex can be a struggle, but also about how vital patience and communication are when dealing with sexual difficulties. Check out her brilliant blog (and in particular this recent piece on the sex/violence distinction for over-18 content, which I really enjoyed) and follow her on Twitter @RomanticIsa.

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Every year I try to write something about how Valentine’s Day is mostly a bundle of gendered expectation and obligation wrapped in a parcel of guilt. That doesn’t stop it being fun for some people (and nor should it), but hopefully it does help people who feel shit about the whole thing to feel a little less shit and a little more like it doesn’t really matter. But I’m a sex blogger, so if I don’t write anything about Valentine’s Day I’ll get letters. So, as a compromise I’ve written a guide to things you can buy as Valentine’s Day gifts for yourself. Hoard them, enjoy them, publicly propose to them if you want to, just don’t give them to anyone else: there are other gift guides for that.

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I’m kind of obsessed with door cuffs at the moment. Simple velcro handcuffs that come attached to short metal poles, which you use by hooking them over the door. They mean you can effectively tie someone’s wrists up high while you tease them, and my partner uses them to make me beg for it.

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I’ll keep the intro to this week’s guest blog short and sweet, and simply tell you that I love poetry. The loveliest poems are the ones that make me laugh, cry or ache for something. This poem by James Mycroft makes me ache like anything…

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