On an average day, I can be turned on by a whole bunch of things. Hot people on the train, dudes who got caught in a rain shower, watching computer programmers… But when I’m on my period, or just coming off it, the list of things that give me that ‘unngh’ feeling – the kick in the gut of lust that I bang on about so much in my book – expands to include a hell of a lot more. Let’s talk period horn…
In no particular order, here are a list of things that have given me that kick in the last week. I don’t just mean ‘things which were nice.’ I really explicitly mean ‘turn-ons’ – in the physical, twitching, cunt-drenching sense. My reasons for specifying that will become clear when I post the follow-up to this on Sunday.
So. Things that made me go ‘unngh’:
- A word that I misread to read ‘hardcock.’
- The sight of a guy in calf-length shorts.
- Riding my bike over cobbles.
- Eating a Calippo.
- An episode of the US TV show ‘Pickers’ in which William Shatner and his wife request furnishings for a horse-themed room.
- Riding the tube.
- Riding the bus.
- The word ‘riding’ in literally any context.
- Getting stuck in traffic behind a gnarled gang of bikers.
- Walking past a tattoo parlour and catching a glimpse of a dude getting his stomach tattooed.
- My tits pushing against the duvet as I do a particularly satisfying yawn/stretch.
- Reaching into my knickers to scratch my own arse.
- Putting moisturiser on the back of my thighs (specifically here, because it reminded me that you can get whacked with a belt across the back of the thighs and it’s bloody lovely and smacky and delicious).
- A vivid and unshakeable vision of a guy slapping me hard in the face. This is normally a hard limit for me, but something about it suddenly seemed like just what the doctor ordered. So we fucked, with me on top, and he held my face close to him and whispered filthy words into my ear. If his cock slipped out, or I slowed down, he smacked me hard in the face and told me: “get back on my dick.”
- The smell of my cunt shortly after that fuck.
- Writing the sentence above about the smell of my cunt after a fuck.
- And that sentence.
Short blog post, I know, but as I may have mentioned I have serious period horn, and as such I’ve got a hell of a lot of wanking to be getting on with…