WHY HAVE I NEVER WRITTEN ABOUT RIDING CROPS?! I need to rectify this immediately, because riding crops are not only super-hot, but they also represent one of my earliest sexual memories. And by that I mean there was one time I spotted a riding crop on TV and couldn’t understand why I got all the funny feelings.

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This week an article did the rounds on Twitter titled ’10 Things Men Do In Bed That Women Hate.’ It was So. Fucking. Awful (and mostly copied word for word from this old, awful listicle from more than a year ago) that I thought I’d write an alternative.

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Two things you should check out this week. In the ‘bad’ column: some truly appalling sex advice. Then to cheer you up: a hot Youtube video of nerdy boys having a fight.

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I’ve wanted to write about sensual masturbation for a really, really long time. This rant has taken about three months to percolate in my mind, and eventually boil over – I estimate that’s roughly 2.5 months longer than the total time I’ve spent wanking in my entire adult life.

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You might have noticed that I’ve been a bit lax on guest blogs for the last few months. Time and money have conspired to mean I haven’t been able to publish any. But now they’re back, and this first one – on holiday sex – by AB is going live because two things about it appealed to me.

Firstly, it’s a lovely holiday sex story, and not only do I love sex but I am also on holiday next week (OK, at Eroticon), so I can tie in the guest blog with a note that if I might not be super responsive over the next week or two.

Secondly, because when AB sent it to me, they said they’ve never written anything like this before, and I am a total sucker for any and all first times. Enjoy.

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