Category Archives: Unsolicited advice

When we are finally allowed back out to play

Do you remember the last time you cancelled plans for a night out? Or the last time someone invited you to a party and your kneejerk reaction was to sigh and lament how far you’d have to drag yourself out of town? Remember the last time a friend was in your area and invited you out for coffee, and you fumbled in your brain for an excuse because you were tired and hungover?


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Blogs I have not written about These Weird Times

There’s nothing good or useful that I can say right now. I’ve helped the people I love, and comforted the ones I can comfort, and bought just enough shopping to last a few weeks, but no more than we genuinely need. So now I sit and twiddle my thumbs and wonder how to mark this week on my blog: the start of these Fucking Weird Times.


It’s not weird to keep your ex’s nudes (on one condition)

If there’s one thing more fun that relationship drama on reddit, it’s having a Hot Take on relationship drama on reddit. I am obsessed with not just /r/relationship_advice but also /r/amitheasshole, not just because it’s fun to laugh at assholes but also because they sometimes throw up interesting ethical dilemmas to chew over. Today: is it weird to keep your ex’s nudes/knickers when you break up? Reddit says ‘yes’, I say ‘no’, but on one important condition…


No one ever wants to be the baddie

I’ve had a lot of internet fights in my time. I cut my teeth on an incredibly racist and misogynist forum back in the days before Twitter, then I joined Twitter, then I started to blog. Fight after fight after fight – I’ve kicked off at so many people! People who were causing harm, and others who were trying to tell me that I was causing harm. Sometimes I’ve argued well, sometimes badly. Sometimes I am right, often wrong. Some things I’ve said have been justified, others terrible. You get the idea. At no point during any of these fights did I ever intend to cause harm. But that doesn’t mean no harm was ever caused.


How to link to adult websites ethically

I do a lot of press to promote this site. Not just interviews with journalists – the word ‘press’ basically covers any and everything that I do for free to give other people content and help me promote my work: interviews, podcasts, quotes for articles, and other bits and pieces. I’m totally cool with doing this, it is the primary (and most valuable) method of promoting what I do. But with one caveat: it’s only valuable if people actually link. Understandably, many sites are reluctant to link to adult websites, so I thought I’d write a quick overview on how to do it ethically, and why it’s so important.