I don’t think doggy is the best position for anal, but that’s probably because I’m not especially visual. I get why someone might enjoy the whole ‘you look down and watch it go in’ thing, it just isn’t my favourite part. In porn, I am broadly turned off by extreme genital close-ups, preferring instead to watch the twisted, horny joy on someone’s face as they slam it home. I get why many people would like the view you get when pegging in doggy, though, and there are definitely other delights too, like the way you can grab someone’s hips and pull them back onto your dick while you’re pounding away. But today I want to talk about some of my favourite alternative pegging positions.

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I understand why the bottom is the go-to place to spank. It’s deliciously wobbly, satisfying to stroke and touch, and it frames the cunt so nicely. If someone’s going to lay into me, I get why they want to start off with my arse. But I reckon there’s another hot place for punishment that doesn’t involve me removing any of my clothes. Hands out, palms upwards, strapped with a belt or a tawse. Unngh.

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The hottest thing about you – and please make sure you hear me all the way out, because at first glance it might sound dismissive – is that you want to fuck me. That’s it. The best fucking thing. The red-hot fire in the gusset of my knickers right now: I just know that you definitely would.

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Note, before we begin, that this post is going to describe a rape fantasy. I use the phrase ‘rape fantasy’ instead of something softer like ‘consensual non-consent scene’ because I think it’s more accurate. As with any fantasy, the fact that someone enjoys it in their head does not mean they’ll necessarily enjoy it in real life, and so my writing should on no account ever be taken as a justification to do anything like this with your partners. Nor even, if I’m the one you’re fucking, should you take it as permission to do it to me. If you fully understand this, and you’re not going to be freaked out by the idea of that, let’s talk about why ‘sorry’ is the hottest word you can say at the moment of climax.

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When I’m feeling shitty, I like to suck cock. One of the most frustrating things for me about not having a live-in partner any more (if you discount the fact that, you know, I miss him terribly) is that there’s no easy-access dick to suck when I’m feeling unloveable and down.

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