Let’s talk about sacred sex, via the medium of delicious toast.

I don’t think bread is sacred. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t sacred to you. Some of you might do the church thing, for instance, where you kneel at the altar and the priest gives you either the literal body of Christ or something representative enough that to pop it in the toaster would be sacrilege. Judaism has some pretty cool sacred bread stuff too, if I remember right from R.E. classes. Or if you observe Ramadan and eat bread during iftar, then as you chew you might marvel in the wonder of what God does for you/is to you/means to you, and have a nice spiritual moment.

I don’t have a bread ritual, though – I tend to just toast it, butter it, then eat it standing up in the kitchen.

Roughly the same applies with sex.

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Here’s fun: SSRIs. Also referred to as ‘anti-depressants’, although sometimes used for things on top of/combined with depression. I’ve talked a bit before about my anxiety – specifically the way in which anxiety affects how I fuck. It’s a massive pain in the arse, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing I can easily dismiss by choosing not to care about it.

Still. I’m here, and I’m not too bad most of the time, so I’m lucky.

But I’m also on pills, and I fucking hate them with every fibre of my being.

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On Monday night a PR person got in touch with me to offer me an interview with her client, Garren James. He’s a former model who runs a male escort agency – Cowboys 4 Angels – to provide services for straight women. In her original email, she said something so bizarre I couldn’t help but wonder if this was genuinely the opinion of her client, or if she’d gone a bit off-piste. Was this just an individual being ignorant of her own prejudice, or was it a company that genuinely built its services on biphobic principles?

Let’s find out.

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Two things this week, to power you through Monday with a combination of fun and frustration. This week we’re looking at relationship listicles, and why they’re about as helpful for your relationship as those quizzes they used to print in Just Seventeen magazine, and then some excellent news about virtual reality porn.

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I was so down on Friday I couldn’t bring myself to post a guest blog. Sorry about that. It’s an absolute corker, too – super-sexy, as I’m pretty sure you’ll agree when I put it live tomorrow. I just didn’t want it getting lost in all the rage and sadness about Brexit. Anyway. I have a themed ‘two things’ for you this week – both of them relating to the Women’s Equality Party, and both of them bad, I’m afraid. Let’s get angry.

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