Point-missing app developers SaSie have come up with a new ‘affirmative consent app’ – one of many sexual consent apps that fundamentally misunderstand the nature of consent, or the ways in which humans work. That fills the ‘bad news’ column in this week’s ‘Two things‘, but if you’re after some much better news, scroll down to the bottom for some hardcore panda sex.
The bad: more point-missing sexual consent apps
I spotted an article by Lux Alptraum this week about ‘SaSie: an affirmative consent app for everyone.’
“According to SaSie’s marketing, consent is as easy as opening an app, reading and signing a lengthy contract, snapping photos of both of your IDs, and then saving it all to a password protected file … How the app guarantees that the agreement really was signed by two consenting adults—and not, say, someone pressuring their partner into clicking yes on an agreement, or a particularly devious person trying to fake a yes—isn’t particularly clear. But that’s only the beginning of its issues.”
Too right. We’ve had this discussion before, when consent app Good2Go was making the rounds. It promised to ‘guarantee’ that both people had fully consented before any sex took place, when in fact it could do nothing of the sort. Apps like SaSie and Good2Go rely on a fundamental misunderstanding of sexual consent: that having sex is something akin to selling someone insurance, and all you need for consent is a one off tick in the right terms and conditions box.
In fact, consent is fluid and complex. It’s not something you establish (or, indeed, sign away) only once before you get down to the dirty stuff, then never have to worry about again. You need to listen, communicate, engage with your partners, and then keep doing that all the way through your shag. From the second you raise your eyebrow and offer them a coffee to the minute they walk out the door. It’s not just how you get consent, it’s how you get a decent fuck.
And if you’re so into your legalese and your contracts and your tickboxes, then allow me to extend you an offer of my own: come at me with a consent app and you’ll get my 100% ‘will never fuck you’ guarantee.
The good: hardcore panda sex
On a lighter and sexier note – LOOK AT THESE TWO PANDAS GOING AT IT! There are sexy noises, whimpers, grunts and – my favourite – some sex positions even I haven’t tried yet.
Notably: dude panda stands on step to get even higher during doggy style fucking, thus changing the angle. Also: reverse cowgirl where he lifts his legs up and wraps them around her waist.
OK, so this story is quite old and therefore doesn’t technically qualify as ‘sex news’, but a friend of mine sent it to me this week and I found it bizarrely arousing, so there.
9/10, would attempt to masturbate to.