“Every time I come round,” my new boyfriend notes, “you have different dicks all over the place.” That’s right! I know how to impress a gentleman. Most of the time, the only sex toys that’ll be on display around my flat are my staple wank tools: one dildo, a wand and a couple of different bullet vibes that I swap in and out depending on which one is charged. But lately I’ve been branching out – dusting off some of the other things from my collection so I can mix up my masturbation even more. I could try and tell him that it’s because I’ve a discerning vagina like Epiphora or that I’m a wise and serious reviewer like my colleague Amy of Coffee and Kink. But the truth is, as always, far grubbier than that: I have loads of sex toys around the place because at the moment I’m so horny that if I don’t mix up my wanking tools I am liable to turn my clit numb from experiencing the same sensation over and over again. Picture the scene: a carnage of cocks, each one becoming obsolete within a couple of days of use because I’ve got NRE and I’m so aflame with excitement that I’m wanking four or five times a day. Desperately switching between rumbly bullets, buzzy ones, thudding wands and rabbit vibes just to try and surprise my junk into wringing one more orgasm from a body that has already been thoroughly rinsed. Now understand how grateful I was when my site sponsors Whipple Tickle sent through this rose vibe clit toy: a sex toy that provides a genuinely new sensation with which none of my other toys can compete. Hallelujah! A change really is as good as a rest!

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This gorgeous erotic story featuring intimate D/s and a fabulously hot facefuck is written and read by Lou Kane and originally appeared on his website. Note that this story contains ‘Daddy’ as an honorific.

I loved sitting at Daddy’s feet. I felt so safe and warm wrapped around B’s calf, cheek pressed against their thigh as they absently played with the short strands of my hair. I chose this position whenever I got the opportunity—which was why I was currently trapped between B’s legs and the couch and clad in nothing but my underwear while the credits rolled on the movie we’d just finished.

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I’m not telling you to buy all these things. Apart from anything else, some of them are completely free. What I AM going to tell you, though, is that it’s the time of year when people hunt around for gifts to buy their lovers for Valentine’s Day, or buy themselves for Valentine’s Day (I’d argue the latter is better because you know damn well it’ll be well received), and so it would be remiss of me not to nudge you towards the fabulous sponsors who help keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. We have sex toys, audio porn, porn porn, restraints and loads more. Fill yer boots. Every time you click a link on one of the banners around the site or in articles like this, I get a little bit of kudos and you help keep this site running. So even if you’re broke right now, bookmark to treat yourself later.

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This gorgeous piece about the perfect nude is written and read by Euphemise This, and originally appeared on her website. 

I hadn’t expected this. My request for nude photos had been met with a degree of nervousness and so, after being reassuring for a short while, I let it slide. Not everyone is as comfortable as I am in front of a camera and I know that it’s hard for some people to imagine themselves through the eyes of their lover. No matter how many times someone tells you that you’re hot, believing it enough to get naked and open your phone’s camera can be challenging. So I hadn’t expected to receive a photo. This photo. This perfectly crafted work of art.

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Hey! I realised recently that I have something in common with my site sponsors Hot Octopuss (and it’s not just that we really love sex toys). Turns out it’s been ten years since they launched the kickass vibrating dick toy PULSE, and coincidentally it’s also been about ten years since I quit my day job and started blogging full-time. I wish I could say I’ve had the same success they have, selling millions of toys and creating oceans of spaff, but to be honest I haven’t sold that many toys. I reckon spaff-wise I could fill a modest pond or two, though. Maybe the Serpentine, at a push. To celebrate their ten years, they launched a really beautiful limited-edition version of their most popular sex toy – Hot Octopuss PULSE Dragon Eye – and I thought I’d take the opportunity to shout about some of the hottest adventures I’ve had with mine…

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