Some people spend their spare time knitting, while others prefer more dangerous hobbies – abseiling, base jumping, exploring tiny dark caves that they might get stuck in – the kinds of activities that get their adrenaline racing. The same is true of kink. While many will be satisfied with a little light bondage and some occasional role play with a safe word, others like to dive deeper and kink things that others find far more scary. There aren’t many people I’d commission to write a guest blog about consensual gaslighting, but Jenby – who’s tackled things like surveillance, tongue-stapling and Total Power Exchange with extremely enthusiastic consent – is right up there. So! Today she’s here to talk about gaslighting as kink. And although I know it sounds like a cliché to tell you ‘don’t try this at home’, I’m going to say it anyway. As a general rule, the darker and more potentially harmful a kink is, the better you need to be at playing safely and communicating and all those important things. I would no more trust a stranger to write this post than I’d follow a stranger into a dark cave without safety rope and proof of competence. But Jenby’s written so much before from her eagerly submissive perspective that I rate her as an expert spelunker of kink’s darkest and twistiest caves, so if anyone can talk gaslighting as kink, it’s her.

Note that this piece does exactly what it says on the tin: discusses gaslighting as kink play. It also features ‘Daddy’ as an honorific – everyone in this story is over the age of 18. 

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A new guest blog from Jenby is always a fucking treat – I get a little burst of glee just seeing her name in my inbox. Whether she’s casually letting me know that she got milked by House Dommes at a hucow event, or that she’s been sweating at a latex event during a heatwave, every adventure brings brand new kinks to explore, horny scenarios to contemplate, and at least one truly excellent pun. Check out some of her incredible previous guest blogs here, then sit tight (very tight) and enjoy her latest foray into mummification…

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New Year is one of my favourite times, because it is a nice opportunity to do a bit of self-reflection. Looking back at the last 12 months and working out what you’ve achieved, what you’ve been lucky enough to experience, and what you’d like to leave behind as you move into the next year. 2025 has been a weird one for me, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in some dark places. But reflecting on how I felt this time last year is a nice reminder that things can and do get better. And even while I was dwelling (some might say ‘wallowing’) in the darkness, I kept writing and recording and commissioning with the pleasantly surprising result that there’s a phenomenal crop of amazing guest audio porn, guest blogs and posts from me to include in this year’s round-up.

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Do you want to get a lovely sexy card from me in December, with a beautiful design drawn by Stuart Taylor who creates the fabulous art for the site? Now’s your chance! Just join my Patreon (at ANY level – the lowest tier is just £2/$2 per month) and you’ll get a message on 1st December so you can tell me where to send it. If you join before the 30th November, you can also join in with the Zoom hangout where you get to talk to your favourite sex blogger (as long as your favourite sex blogger is me), and hear some smutty readings from the archives.

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The first line of a blog post is not as important as you think. Sure, you want to draw people in – with a sexy image, a powerful statement, or perhaps a controversial statement to pique their interest like I’ve done here. But the first line is no more than a ‘hello’. You’re setting out your stall and encouraging people to approach, but you don’t need the first line to do more than just grab someone’s attention. The final line of a blog post: that’s what counts.

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