You’re not gonna fucking believe this, but sex tech makes it possible for me to literally fuck you with my words. Using sound activation on a Lovense Osci 3, you can turn any audio story into vibrations which go straight to your sensitive parts. The Lovense Osci is a rabbit-style vibrator but you can also get clit wands, dick vibes and prostate massagers, so all junk is catered for. How cool is that? I’m going to give you an overview of how this works, a few other ideas of how you can use Lovense toys, and then I’m going to do one of the most fun things I’ve done for a sponsor since I ate a chocolate dick. Basically, I’m going to tell you a sexy story about wanking with this toy, with the specific aim of creating tailored audio porn that will build good vibrations and (hopefully) make you come if you sync it to yours. Let’s. Fucking. Go.

If you have a Lovense Osci (or other sound-activated toy) and you just want to skip to the filthy story, click ‘play’ on the audio above. UK-based users will hear a ‘censored’ message, so pop over to Patreon and create a free account to hear it in full. 

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New Year is one of my favourite times, because it is a nice opportunity to do a bit of self-reflection. Looking back at the last 12 months and working out what you’ve achieved, what you’ve been lucky enough to experience, and what you’d like to leave behind as you move into the next year. 2025 has been a weird one for me, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in some dark places. But reflecting on how I felt this time last year is a nice reminder that things can and do get better. And even while I was dwelling (some might say ‘wallowing’) in the darkness, I kept writing and recording and commissioning with the pleasantly surprising result that there’s a phenomenal crop of amazing guest audio porn, guest blogs and posts from me to include in this year’s round-up.

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Describing a sexual experience can be difficult and delicate in itself, but it’s even more challenging to go beyond that and show the ways in which individual sexual experiences can have a broader ripple effect – on the way you feel about yourself, your body, your relationship to others and the world. This week’s guest blog is about hearing audio porn for the first time, and touching yourself to something that feels truly intimate. But it’s also about so much more than that. Huge thanks to the author, YHD, whose writing absolutely took my breath away.

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Normally I wait until just before New Year’s Day to write a round-up of the year’s top free audio porn, guest blogs and other delights. But this year I wanted to get it live early, to give you something to dip into during this period of otherwise-relatively-wholesome festivity. So! Welcome! Take a seat, grab a glass of mulled wine/eggnog/hot chocolate, and enjoy this showcase of some of the top audio porn, smutty blogs, and other fun treats from this year! Join me in celebrating the astonishingly talented cast of writers, readers and guests who bring such utter beauty to the site…

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Do you run a smutty website? Would you like to turn some of your awesome sex blogs into audio porn? I’d love to hear from you! I’ll pay a license fee to produce your work as audio and give you a widget to embed those stories on your own website, which makes your erotica more accessible to people who use screenreaders. If you’re willing and able to record your own work, I will also pay you to record them yourself. Interested? Read on…

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