Tag Archives: break ups
The last time you ever fuck them
Here’s a dilemma. A conundrum. A thought experiment, perhaps? If you know you’re going to be shagging someone for the very last time ever, how do you do it? You know your relationship has to end, and will soon be over for good. The pair of you can’t go on like this any longer, it hurts too much… but fate has given you one last shot to do the thing you both love to do. So. The last time you ever fuck them, how do you fuck?
Two different ways to try and win someone back
The most sensible strategy, if you want to win someone back, is probably a combination of loving words and powerful actions: promise change, show how you’re working on that, tell me you love me, and remind me of all the things that I can’t help but love about you. That’s a pretty good strategy, right there, if you’re wedded to the idea of having one. There are two others, though, and enough time’s passed on each that I reckon it’s OK for me to tell the following stories. The first one is romantic, the second is horny as fuck.
It’s not you, it’s me
I don’t think I’m a very fun person at the moment, let’s start there. I used to be this irritatingly bouncy, joy-filled fucker who skipped from social event to social event with the words “isn’t this BRILLIANT” on my lips. I loved my friends, found pleasure in so many little things, and although life was often underscored by a pulsing beat of anxiety, usually I could keep that at bay with the promise of a pint in the sunshine and a decent playlist in my headphones as I stomped down the street to reach it.
Sometimes you just need to break stuff
Usually when I split up with someone, I’ll wallow in wistful nostalgia and take a little time to say goodbye. I’ll be gutted, of course, but sadness is familiar and life has helpfully taught me that it will pass. This time it’s different: I’ve found myself frightened and destabilised – turning fear and despair inwards till the panic of it starts to choke me. Life goes on, though! Unfortunately, it kind of has to! Despite my most fervent wishes, I am not allowed to just shut down all my organs and give up the ghost! This is partly because my lovely friends won’t let me. Here are eight things I have been offered by kind people who want to comfort me in the darkness.
This time it’s different
This time he comes to mine to do the stuff swap, I won’t put the effort in to meet him. He comes to my place, and he texts on the way: do you want me to just leave it at the door? No.