Tag Archives: control

Guest blog: Finding validation through public rope bondage

This week’s wonderful guest blog comes from fellow sex blogger Starcross (check out his awesome work at that link, and find him on BlueSky here!). He’s written before in response to a very direct and curious question I asked – what does it feel like to penetrate someone? – and I absolutely adored the way he managed to capture the sensation and intimacy of being inside. Today’s blog also touches on closeness and intimacy, but this time in a very public setting. He’s here to explain how doing public rope bondage with his partner, J, helped him find validation and security in kinky spaces. It’s a really beautiful perspective on something I have only ever seen from the outside before, and I am so grateful to him for sharing this with us here.

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Delayed ejaculation: The problematic hat trick

“I just need you to know,” one guy told me, before we started fucking, “that I very rarely come during penetrative sex. In fact, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times that’s happened.” It didn’t matter who he was fucking or where his dick happened to be, he had very rarely ever come inside. You’d hope that someone as body-positive and sex-knowledgeable as Girl on the fucking Net would instinctively have some bon mot at the ready to put him at ease and reassure him that delayed ejaculation (or an inability to ejaculate full-stop) is common, and nothing to be ashamed of. And I did but… Although my rational brain was more than happy to explain that I don’t actually need champagne fountains of jizz in order to be sexually satisfied depressingly – embarrassingly – my heart fluttered with something a little different. When he told me how few people had managed to get him to come inside them, something deep in my soul chimed in with: ‘I bet I can do it, though.’

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“What are you gonna do about it?” An ode to bratty subs

Perhaps it’s my age, or I’m experiencing a sudden and temporary burst of self-confidence – maybe my therapy’s working? Whatever the reason, I’ve been feeling a lot more domme lately. As often as I used to yearn for powerful, toppy guys with wickedly menacing grins, now I dream about bratty subs who have a playfully cheeky, ‘what are you gonna do about it?’ energy.

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Guest blog: Obedient to a stranger

How much control would you hand to a stranger? Would you ever be willing to sexually submit to one? Today’s incredible guest blog is about two people who decided to take a risky, sexy leap into the unknown, and the hot scene that transpired when they met in person. It should go without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that this is not a how-to guide. The people who did this are both experienced kinksters who care about safety, knew each other by reputation and embarked on detailed consent negotiations. It’s not a risk everyone should take, but I’m delighted to publish this guest blog because it’s written by two people whose reputations for care and consent in kink precede them: please welcome the fabulous EuclideanPoint and Harley (of HarlequinWorks) who have an unusual and very hot story to tell…

Note that this story contains pretend kidnapping, impact play, blood play, and restraints. 

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Guest blog: Can sex tech help defeat feelings of inadequacy?

I’m so delighted to welcome this guest blogger back – he wrote a fabulous post towards the end of last year about sex and disability, and the value of focusing more on a sexual journey than the destination. It’s a gorgeous piece, please do check it out. Today he’s back with a recommendation – an idea for a playful use of sex tech that could help some people defeat that pernicious inner voice that whispers about inadequacy. Because sometimes sex toys really are ‘toys’ – they help us understand that sex is supposed to be fun. And while we’re having fun, that inner voice sometimes goes quiet…

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