Tag Archives: control
Guest post: Why do I get nervous before a BDSM scene?
I panic about everything, regardless of whether it’s actually worth panicking about. Good friends, acquaintances and even my own Mum: all these people are in the dark about the terror I have when I hit ‘send’ on an email to them and then immediately imagine everything collapsing around me, when they interpret a casual joke as a genuine insult. Don’t get me started on the times I have to assert myself or the things that actually matter…
Because of my permanent ‘red alert’ anxiety levels, when this week’s guest blogger got in touch with an idea about getting nervous before a BDSM scene, I leapt on it.
January Chopin is here to give you a gorgeously personal, amazingly hot, tinglingly nervewracking account of a BDSM scene. And I think a lot of people will see themselves in it…
Subspace: what is it and how do I get into the zone?
It took me a long time to work out what subspace really was. When I first started going to kink events I heard so much chat about it – how people would go spacey and woozy during a beating, on a blissed-out high caused by the pain. How afterwards, their dominant would wrap them in blankets and bring them coffee or Coke, and they’d recover slowly, having the fuzzy feeling kissed and stroked away by wet lips and warm hands.
Wrap your hands around my throat
The following post contains some filthy sex chat about erotic asphyxiation – I’ve put it below/behind the cut so you don’t have to read if that kind of thing disturbs you. Likewise, if you don’t understand that it can be well dangerous, please don’t read on. I realise you can probably work this out for yourself, but occasionally I get linked from Reddit and people leave comments assuming I’m instructing everyone to treat sex like it’s a no-holds-barred Ultimate Fighting championship, and I get stressed. So this message is here as much for me as it is for you.
Spanking: sometimes only a good, hard spanking will do
I’m going through a phase where I really crave spanking. All I really want is to be smacked. Flat palm, bare bottom, good hard whacks. Lying on the sofa, with my feet in a guy’s lap, my usual whim would be for him to slide a hand up my leg and into the warmth of my crotch, casually thumbing my clit through my knickers until I wriggle and beg for a fuck.
Giving up bad sex habits
“What’s that?”
“A spreadsheet of my best wanking times.”
He didn’t even ask why. He just laughed, rolled his eyes, and then wandered into the kitchen to make coffee. But, for the record, I am compiling a spreadsheet of my wanking times, so that I can eventually graph the results and post a blog about it. Why?