Recently someone on BlueSky asked ‘would 20 year old you be impressed or disappointed by who you are today?’. My immediate response was ‘both, in spades’. There’d be certain things about my life that she’d be wildly impressed by, others that might cause significant disappointment. But you don’t have to take my word for it, let’s ask her ourselves. Hop into my TARDIS and let’s go visit The Commercial Rooms – a sticky-carpeted Wetherspoons in Bristol city centre – in the year 2004. If I know this bitch (and I do), she’ll be somewhere in there drinking double vodka RedBulls, chain-smoking cigarettes and yearning for a boy we’ll call Adam.

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