New Year is one of my favourite times, because it is a nice opportunity to do a bit of self-reflection. Looking back at the last 12 months and working out what you’ve achieved, what you’ve been lucky enough to experience, and what you’d like to leave behind as you move into the next year. 2025 has been a weird one for me, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in some dark places. But reflecting on how I felt this time last year is a nice reminder that things can and do get better. And even while I was dwelling (some might say ‘wallowing’) in the darkness, I kept writing and recording and commissioning with the pleasantly surprising result that there’s a phenomenal crop of amazing guest audio porn, guest blogs and posts from me to include in this year’s round-up.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but some of you will so I’ll say it. That thing you’ve been itching to do for ages? You should do it on your own.

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I woke up last Thursday with the loveliest, softest feeling: like I’d just had a truly sexy dream. It was hyper-realistic, and that realism lingered in my mind as I opened my eyes. Snuggling down beneath the duvet in a winter-warm bed, I ran hands over my body and allowed the details to return to me piece by piece.

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As is now traditional, when Christmas rolls round I like to use my one superpower (being incredibly horny) to remind you about the amazing companies who help to keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. Basically what I’m about to do is give a run-down of the awesome folks who support my work here, and tease you with fun suggestions about ways to use their products/services in your own bedroom. If you’re in the market for sexy Christmas gifts – for a loved one or yourself – you should consider stealing one of my excellent horny ideas, and buying from these people who have been instrumental in bringing you the smut I churn out each year. If you aren’t in the market for them right now, then I hope you’ll read on anyway for the hot kicks and kinky tricks.

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I love Doctor Nerdlove. He’s a brilliant advice columnist whose responses often give me a new perspective on love and relationships. He is kind and patient, but willing to call someone on their bullshit when that is required. This response to a writer who is bitter about women was especially exceptional. I’m opening with a thorough arse-kissing because for the first time in ages I disagree with something he wrote. It’s a really old post, and normally I wouldn’t highlight those because who gives a fuck that I disagree with something that someone wrote ten years ago? I want to discuss it, though, because the emotional wail of anguish that sits at the heart of why I disagree has been on my mind a lot lately. I don’t want to do that without first telling you how much I love his work, though. Tl;dr – I’m using an old Doctor Nerdlove post as the springboard for a rant, but you should know I massively respect him and if he ever finds himself in London I will buy him a pint and a pasty by way of apology. Let’s talk about compromise in relationships, and why I never want anyone to ‘settle’ for me.

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