I set out to find a date within twelve hours, using only my phone. Could I summon a man to come hang out with me on the same day I set up my profile, then get him to bang me sideways in the twin room of a Travelodge? If so, this would make for the most efficient dating experience of my entire life to date. How successful was I? Come find out!

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I don’t know how long it’s been since I was last properly belted. A year at least, maybe two. It’s not the end of the world. I love kink, and I adore being used and abused, but my desires are incredibly responsive, so I’m far less concerned about finding a relationship that ticks off all the spanky acts on my submissive wishlist than I am about building connection with someone I love. Still. One of the nice things about leaving a relationship is remembering all the opportunities that you once packed away with a shrug, which you can now dust off again. And as I rummage through a box marked ‘things I can do now I’m single’, getting belted just happens to lie on the top. Luckily for me, a mate made it her mission to drag me up off the floor from the pool of wine and tears in which I was lying, and force me outside to have fun. Let me tell you about my friend, the Queen of the Dungeon.

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Normally I wait until just before New Year’s Day to write a round-up of the year’s top free audio porn, guest blogs and other delights. But this year I wanted to get it live early, to give you something to dip into during this period of otherwise-relatively-wholesome festivity. So! Welcome! Take a seat, grab a glass of mulled wine/eggnog/hot chocolate, and enjoy this showcase of some of the top audio porn, smutty blogs, and other fun treats from this year! Join me in celebrating the astonishingly talented cast of writers, readers and guests who bring such utter beauty to the site…

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Sometimes I feel like part of my body still belongs to him.

Throughout my life I’ve been fucked in so many different ways: like I’m precious; like I’m trash; like they’re hungry and I’m the nearest hot meal… but only one or two men have ever fucked me like my flesh was theirs by right. Fucked me like they owned me. As if my body – my cunt, my thighs, my hands, my mouth, my heart – belonged to them exactly as much as their own. He was one of them.

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When I first requested a cute little butt plug starter kit from my site sponsor WhippleTickle (seamless promo, well done me) I had a plan in mind: I knew exactly who I’d use it with, and how. But for reasons I’ll explain later, that won’t happen now. So I basically have two options if I want to fulfill my promise to one of the kind companies that helps keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. I could write you a straight-up review where I give this product marks out of ten based on basic details or… write two thousand words of horny butt plug porn then chuck a link and discount at the end for you to click when you’re all done wanking. And… you know… have you met me?

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