Last week, during the Patreon Q&A, a lovely supporter asked a question about super-practical sex tips – what they described as ‘non-sexy sex tips’. Basically, advice for things one can do to improve the general environment and make sex itself more likely and/or fun. I had a blast answering this, because I think often some of the best sex tips aren’t directly related to play – top positions, sex toy recommendations, best lube for a hand job, etc – they’re peripheral things (like communication) that are all about creating an atmosphere in which everyone feels comfortable and hot.

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There are lots of things I enjoy about this time of year, but gifts aren’t one of them. I feel uncomfortable if people buy them for me (please don’t go to any trouble!) and I’m terrified of giving them. Although I occasionally have a flash of inspiration, or the time and ability to arrange a cool trip or activity, most of the time I end up panic-buying a present at the last minute that’s way over my tiny budget, because I didn’t have time to shop/think/make but I need this person to know that I care about them anyway. Even the cool things I do occasionally manage come with a hefty dollop of misery as I agonise over the fact that they will still fall woefully short. It never feels possible to buy a gift that is thoughtful enough, arrange an outing that’s fun enough, or write a poem in a card that’s meaningful enough to capture the weight of my love for this kickass person. But I tell you what I can do very well: gratitude.

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Remember a few weeks ago when Starcross wrote a fabulous guest piece about what it feels like to have someone come round your cock? Hot, right? And for those of us without cocks, a delicious insight into what it’s like to possess one. Honestly, inject this into my veins. At the same time as Starcross responded to my callout, the lovely Innocent Loverboy got in touch to answer my question about what it feels like to penetrate someone. And to have someone slowly sit on your dick. Can you tell I’m obsessed with these things at the moment? I just really want to know what sex is like from the perspective of someone with a dick. And asking sex bloggers feels like an excellent way to find out. Please give a warm welcome to ILB (that’s the Mastodon link – he’s also here on Twitter and here on BlueSky), who’s dropped by to give us his perspective on what it feels like to penetrate someone…

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It’s usually pretty hard to content note Halloween erotica. It’s fun to give myself the challenge of writing something dark and horror-focused at this time of year, and I like ’em gruesome. If you’re also into macabre sex stories you might enjoy the following, but if you don’t want to read about people fucking reanimated corpses, you should probably give it a miss. 

I wake up screaming. No idea why, but I wake up screaming. Just absolute, cold-blooded, throat-ripping screams. Christ. Fuck. I can’t understand it. It takes him a couple of minutes to calm me. Stroking me with gentle hands and crooning ‘ssssh’ into my ear.

I try to sit up. Can’t.

Try to move my hands. Can’t.

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This fabulous switch sex story is written and read by Robyn of Robyn Eats Everything. 

I like it when an old fuck gets back in touch. They must have been reminiscing about me, my body, maybe what I can do with my mouth. They must have been feeling horny, feeling excited, feeling perhaps a little desperate. The first time round must have been good enough to merit a sequel, hopefully. Knowing someone is thinking about me that way, taking time over memories of me, is delicious.

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