A while ago I encouraged people to write a description of their orgasm. For two reasons, really:
- it’s an interesting challenge for any erotic writer, and I wanted to see if people could do it better than I could (spoiler alert: they definitely can)
- I like reading about other people’s experiences, especially if they’re beautifully and sexily different to mine.
So, I’ve finished sifting, re-reading, and generally wanking myself raw, and was utterly bowled over and delighted by all of your entries. There were some stunning things in there, and if you’ve got time I’d strongly recommend you read the past entries.
Orgasm competition – top 5 entries
Because I don’t like the idea that my opinion comes top purely because I’m the one with the blog, I’m going to ask you to help me narrow down from the top 5 to the winner. I’ve chosen the five that – in my humble opinion – felt like the best ones, and that give an idea of the range of different feelings and sensations people described. I’m really sorry if yours isn’t in there – I would utterly love to have given a prize to everyone. All you need to do is read some entries and rate the ones you read on a scale of 1-10. Those scores will be averaged with the scores I’ve given them, and the winner will be sent the amazing trophy pictured above. I can take no credit for the amazing “Veni, vici” (Translation: “I came, I conquered”) joke – that was suggested by @Aug24 on Twitter.
(I’m not yet sure if he’d like to be credited, so if he wants to be I’ll add a link to his Twitter profile above)
But there you go – five very hot and very varied descriptions of people’s orgasms. Please do peruse them, rate and share with your more open-minded friends. The more people who do it, the better idea I can get of which ones people love the most.
Voting closes this time next week (6pm GMT Sunday 11th August) – have at it!
Editor’s note: I know that it’s often possible to game competitions that include voting, but I don’t think that will happen here: I have access to the back end of the system, so if I see someone’s rated everything low except one, those votes won’t count. It’s uniquified based on IP address, so you can technically vote and rate more than once via a proxy if you give a massive and substantial shit about winning. However, I’m working on the basis that most people who read this blog (and those who entered the competition) are lovely enough not to cheat. Well, that and the fact that the prize isn’t worth much money.
You’re all brilliant. I mean it – you’re gold-plated, top-of-the-range fantastic and I love you all. A month ago I asked people to have a go at describing their orgasms, in the form of some sort of competition (I haven’t decided the prize yet but trust me it will be highly desirable and worth at least a tenner).
There are still two days left to enter, so if you want to have a go, please leave a comment below describing your own orgasm (or do it on your own blog and send me a link so I can link to you, or email it to me if you’re shy), and I’ll include it in the final roundup. We’ll give people a chance to vote/comment on the final roundup then I’ll pick an overall winner. Finally, we will throw a street party in their honour (or, more likely, just have a bit of a love-in on the social network of their choice) and I’ll send them an awesome prize. Join in – you know you want to.
Describe your orgasm entries – round two
Rosa’s entry is an excellent place to start…
“I start to become really sensitive and twitch beneath my own hand, and I don’t know if I can handle such an intense sensation. It feels as though I am about to die, or come alive, or explode.” You can read the rest of the comment here.
Mal explains how hers almost always come from penetration…
“It begins as a series of long, sharp prickles around the clitoris, or as this unbearable hot sensation in my g spot and then, if it’s a gentle orgasm, feathers out delicately and I sigh and enjoy it with a soft smile.” Read more to see why she feels like she’s falling off a cliff.
The always-excellent N.Likes hits the ‘moment’ nail on the head:
“The first sensation was of a momentary vacuum of pressure – it was like that moment when you’re on a swing set and you reach the absolute peak of your arc: the swing isn’t going up any more, but it isn’t falling yet – it’s just hanging, suspended, momentarily immune from gravity or momentum.” His full description is worth a very thorough read.
Self-described ‘penis user’ (I love this phrase) Nick gives an incredibly vivid picture of how ejaculation feels:
“If you want to know what it feels like to ejaculate the best image I can give is to think of blowing bubbles into milkshake through a straw. That delightful welling up and out with occasions where you blow too hard and get it down your dress.” He then goes on to explain what makes the magic happen.
Ian’s got the build-up down beautifully:
“Something inside that makes me more sensitive, that makes every movement filled with a little more joy, and in amongst that an urge for something more: to increase the pressure, to keep increasing it, with each increase feeling better and better, until you reach the point where the only thing that would feel better than holding this delicious pleasure is releasing it.” Read the rest of his comment here.
Simon took a slightly different route and tried to describe a female orgasm:
“Those quiverings and tightenings deep within
The warm tingling that you can notice down below
As the hornier you get, the more this heat spreads
Imagining a fire burning deep inside you” His entry was submitted via email, but you can read the full thing here.
Inspired? Enter the orgasm competition
There’s still time to enter – I’ll close the comp for entries at midnight on the 26th of July. Leave a comment below, post your entry on your own blog, or email it to me hellogirlonthenet at gmail dot com and I’ll add it anonymously.
Ever wondered what an orgasm feels like for someone other than you? Well, wonder no more! After posting my enthusiastic yet relatively incompetent description of my orgasm on Wednesday, lots of people have had a go at putting one of the most complicated physical sensations into actual real-life words.
If you fancy trying it yourself (and why wouldn’t you? It’s a good excuse for both wanking and wordplay) then either describe your orgasm in the comments below, email it to hellogirlonthenet at gmail, or post it on your own blog and link here. There’ll be a prize for the best one (prize TBC but I’m open to suggestions) and in the meantime you get the glory and joy of creating yet another piece of content for vast swathes of the internet to pleasure themselves to.
What does an orgasm feel like? Entries so far…
I’ll let the lovely Cammies on the Floor begin:
“It starts with pressure inside of me, a pressure of fiction, an awareness of movement in and out of me.
“Then I begin to tighten into the pressure. I can do this at whim, but more often than not, it just happens. When I am short on time, know this is a quickie, or am tired, I can tighten, making me come closer to the sensation faster…” If you’re already dribbling a bit – that’s the idea – please do read the rest over on her blog.
Rebecca’s entry is hot – in both the metaphorical and the literal sense:
“It begins with a warm buzzing around my heart. This spreads to my upper arms and my head and grows, just as the nerves pulse downward towards my groin. Then the burning starts. The burning starts low and wide, around my crotch, then it intensfies and localises in my clitoris, burning more intensely as I hold my breath and stretch out my legs…” Hotness continues in the story over here.
Not to be outdone by the first Rebecca, another Rebecca joins in:
“First, the anticipation. The delicious knowledge of what is waiting. This is what makes me start to breathe a little heavier and start to writhe, ever-so-slightly. Just the mere expectation of the orgasm raises my heart rate, widens my eyes and causes me graze my teeth across my lips…” After an excellent start, her orgasm builds spectacularly.
Ritchie has taken a more methodical approach, breaking orgasms down by type:
“Generally, there is an extremely pleasant warmth that starts around my balls and (and I’m not too sure how to describe this) the ‘root’ of my cock. By root I mean that a cock isn’t blu-tacked onto that bit of your stomach 6 inches or so below the belly button. It goes further in to your body to the pit of the stomach. The warmth spreads, but not too far, and at the point where I am about to come it kind of becomes all encompassing…” If you’re anything like me, you might want to print his comment and keep it under your pillow.
Commenter George has written a charmingly lyrical description:
“I lose control and forget the world; Arms and hands stiffen; My buttocks clench as a mellow pleasure engulfs me; With each contraction, my eyes screw up as ecstasy travels from groin to brain in heartbeat…” And here’s the comment with its poetic conclusion.
Steve dropped me an email with his entry, and it brightened up my evening no end:
“I can vividly remember my first manually induced orgasm. As with many men, this first furtive spanking of the monkey took place in the bath – once that most innocent of pastimes, but from age 12 onwards the location of much fumbling, stroking and general yanking of teenage pork sword. I knew from whispered playground conversations what the mechanics of “having a wank” were. But I’d never actually tried to put these instructions into practice until this occasion.” I’ve posted the full thing in a comment and it’s as funny and evocative as it is hot.
Ian’s description of a building pressure almost makes me feel the pressure in my stomach:
“It’s like a slowly building, but perfectly pleasant, pressure. Something inside that makes me more sensitive, that makes every movement filled with a little more joy, and in amongst that an urge for something more: to increase the pressure, to keep increasing it, with each increase feeling better and better, until you reach the point where the only thing that would feel better than holding this delicious pleasure is releasing it. In that moment of release it’s like a whole body and mind exhalation.” Read the rest of his entry.
Bubbleburst hits on the trembling, shaking feeling:
“When he makes me cum my hands shake. That’s what he likes to focus on after the withering and growling. After my world has become very big and suddenly very small. My hands shake, like proper tremors you can feel right through me….” And it is completely amazing.
Last (but by no means least) Anon put her finger directly on what I couldn’t – her description of an orgasm which ‘radiates’ struck a chord with me:
“Bringing myself to an orgasm is something that I can do in seconds. A few quick rubs, and a tiny orgasm builds up and suddenly there’s a release of pressure and tension that I didn’t know existed. It’s almost like when you get a really good massage therapist, one who rids you of knots you didn’t realise were there. Except these balls of tension built up in my lower back, in my thighs. I get tense and suddenly – poof! – a release…” In case you can’t tell from that, it’s well worth reading her description in full.
Describe your orgasm
As I wrote in my original post, I love the idea of trying to describe an orgasm – it’s something so personal and intimate and – frankly – bloody difficult, that by writing it down for someone you’re giving them a window into something incredibly unique. I can taste the cake you’re eating, I can hear your favourite music, but I can never fully put myself in your shoes (or your pants) and feel exactly how you come.
If you fancy having a go, the competition’s still open. I’ll find something nice (yet not massively expensive because I’m skint) to give as a prize, and keep your entries coming in via comments, email or on your own blog.
Sex without an orgasm is like wine without cheese. Celery without hoummous. A massive fuckoff slab of cake without a cup of coffee to wash it down – these things might be better when they come together, but they’re undeniably fun to have even without the extra.
I don’t always come when I’m fucking. Likewise, believe it or not, guys don’t always come when they’re fucking either.
Almost every single thing we see and hear about sex tells us a story that begins with a male erection and ends with a male orgasm. From biology classes at school which focused on fucking as a disgusting yet crucial baby-spawning activity to the mainstream porn films which fade out about five seconds after someone’s jizzed on someone else’s tits/face/arse/knickers/feet. In fact, porn is a classic example – the fact that male porn stars who fail to ejaculate are nudged to one side by willing and jizz-ready ‘stunt cocks’ shows that we generally view orgasm (or rather – male orgasm) as a rather crucial part of sex.
How do you know when you’ve stopped?
I suppose the key reason we believe this is that a spunk-stream in your eye acts as a handy visual and physical point at which to show the coupling had ended. Like a full stop. It’s as good a point as any in which to roll over and fall asleep, because it’s trickier for men to keep going after they’ve come.
But although feeling someone’s prick twitching a couple of spoonfuls of jizz into your aching cunt is by all means a nice way to end sex, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way.
In the past I’ve had sex sessions aborted (or aborted them myself) because:
a) he’s just too fucking knackered to come. At which point I will either render blowjobs or solitude, depending on how pissed off he looks.
b) I’m too twitchy to continue. It’s often the case that if I come a few times in a row, my thigh muscles start contracting like some phantom clit-genie has attached electrodes to me, and my cunt freaks out. At this point any further sexual contact is a bit like being tickled, and not conducive to further fun.
c) my cunt is sore. No guy has ever been upset to stop for this reason – usually because he doesn’t want to inflict genuinely uncomfortable pain, but partly because it’s a well-earned badge of honour.
d) he just can’t come. Whether the mood’s not right or he’s fucking too soon after a wank or he caught a glimpse of my face in the wrong light and I looked startlingly like his sister – there have been a fair few occasions when a guy has just stopped and decided we’d be better off playing Scrabble for a wee while until he gets hard again.
In these instances, one or other party often feels the need to apologise. I’ve heard occasional apologies and, slightly rarer, admissions that ‘I’m awful’ and ‘you must be so angry with me.’
This is not in any way a sexy thing. Giving it ten minutes then guiding my head back down to your dick is a sexy thing. Growling in my ear that you’ll take your frustrations out on me later is a sexy thing. Spanking me to let me know that you’re displeased is a sexy thing. Begging my forgiveness? Not so much.
My orgasms aren’t 100% crucial either
Likewise, whether I come or not is not an issue at the forefront of my mind when you’re pounding seven shades of fuck into me. It’s something that will probably happen, because I’m lucky enough to find it relatively easy to come when I’m being fucked. But that’s not to say that if it doesn’t happen I’m going to cry in a corner until you see the hurt you’ve caused me – I doubt that would stand me in good stead for the next time I wanted to sit on your dick.
If I’m honest, I’m far more likely to actually come – you know, for real – if you chill the fuck out about it. I’d prefer a quick, messy, satisfying, grunting, orgasmless fuck which leaves us both grinning like teenagers in a sex shop than a long, drawn out shag during which I can feel you thinking ‘why won’t GOTN come? What’s wrong with her? What am I doing wrong? Oh Christ I hope she comes soon I’ve got cramp and my dick’s going limp and please please please just come on my fucking cock you fussy bitch’, at the end of which I might end up coming but only out of a weary desire to get things over with and put you out of your misery.
My opinion might be freakishly abnormal, though – I occasionally find I that it is. Being unable to enter other people’s minds I am depressingly restricted to judging solely based on what I think and what other people have said to me.
There might be people out there for whom sex without orgasm is a horrible, horrible thing. For them, sex without orgasm may well be like a party without booze, and they may think both of those scenarios sound completely pointless.
But for me there are many different types of party, and many different types of fuck.
Having sex without an orgasm isn’t pointless, odd, or even particularly unusual. It’s actually reasonably common – whether through a difficulty orgasming during sex, through tiredness or, most frequently in my experience, because I occasionally find it hilarious to edge a guy until he almost comes then leave him writhing in erect discomfort for a couple of hours until he begs me to suck him dry.
It’s not a party without booze, it’s a party which ends early: still fun while it lasts, and at least when it’s done you can rub one out in the kitchen.