Wanking while you’re in a relationship: do you do it? Probably. Do you talk about it? Maybe not. There’s an unusual squeamishness about discussing masturbation when you’re going out with someone, most likely based on a hefty dollop of sex shame combined with a misconception about the purpose of wanking itself. Although there are lots of reasons to masturbate, some people still see it as an outlet for sexual frustration. The theory goes that wanking is a substitute for a partner, so if you have a partner there’s no longer any ‘need’ to do it. These people often – though not always – make their partner feel guilty for wanking. In turn, people like me make them feel guilty for doing that, and the cycle of guilt continues until we all have a really big fight.

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Right now, in this actual universe, there exists a robot that writes porn. That is a real thing, not just a dream I had. There’ll be more to this blogpost than that simple fact, but I wanted to put it first because it pleases every single aspect of my nerdy, sex-curious, erotica-loving brain. Last weekend, Goldsmiths University hosted a sex tech hack: they got a group of clever, imaginative people together and gave them a bunch of sex toy hardware to play with, then asked them to create things around the themes of intimacy, companionship and sexuality. One of the many incredible things that came out of this was a robot that writes porn.

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It would never have occurred to me that simply wrapping a belt round your wrist would be hot until I saw this kinky porn picture. Just as I’d never have realised that the sound of a belt sliding neatly out through the loops of someone’s jeans would be hot until the first time a guy did it, with fire in his eyes and an urgent need to thrash me. There are plenty of tiny details like this which – while not pornographic on their own – create a stronger horny sensation than anything directly explicit.

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Two things this week features a gorgeous personal essay about one woman’s porn journey, discovering first erotica and then the internet. That’s my favourite thing of this week, and I haven’t found anything super-bad to highlight, so instead I’m going to take the piss out of a vibrator, because sometimes that is fun to do.

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Almost any advance in technology has a sexual application. Smartphones? Porn, obviously. Virtual reality? Porn, obviously. Internet of things? Connected sex toys. Which you can synch with your porn. Obviously. So in any good sci-fi, there are plenty of examples of tech that either has been or could be used for filthy, sexy purposes. Given my love of creepy phone-fest Black Mirror, I have some thoughts on the latest series, and how the gadgets that features could have a sex tech application. Consider this post to be very spoiler-heavy for 3 episodes: Men Against Fire, Playtest and San Junipero.

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