How much do you care about porn video quality? Would you veto a video because it doesn’t have enough pixels? Would you skip over a cam stream because the sound was too fuzzy or avoid audio porn if the mic didn’t have a pop guard? My boyfriend gives a massive shit about the quality of particular videos which is not, in itself, a problem… until we watch porn together.

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Imagine that alongside independent cafés, and large chains like Starbucks and Pret, there’s an even bigger coffee company: CupHub, where you can get your caffeine fix for free. The only catch is that instead of having a dedicated team of baristas, paid by the company, basically anyone can pop behind the counter and make your coffee for you. Instead of buying coffee to serve you, CupHub relies on people dumping coffee at the entrance to their shops. Sometimes this coffee is legit, other times it’s stolen or tainted in some way. CupHub does its best to try and make sure it isn’t, but inevitably some bad coffee and bad people will slip through the net. Still: free coffee! Woo!

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“What was the plot of that porn, then?” He asks me, twenty seconds after we’ve both come. We’re sitting side-by-side on the sofa, him covered in spunk and me casually discarding the dildo and Zumio I used to get there myself. On the TV the porn scene we were watching still plays: porn with no plot, just a couple of people having a vigorous and sexy shag. He reaches for the controller to switch it off as I try to put into words what ‘the plot of that porn’ really was.

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This week’s guest blogger is Sara, who you’ll have met before in her amazing post about what happened when her girlfriend released her from chastity. Today’s guest blog contains an equally hot scenario and I am not sure what I love more about it: the sheer intense hotness of the fuck, or the skill and patience which was put in to making it perfect. As someone who’s a big fan of VR porn sex games, I am in absolute awe of what happens here, and I hope if you got similar gifts for Christmas, it might inspire you to see if you achieve similarly orgasmic things…

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I love it when people tell me about unique, sexy concepts that haven’t occurred to me before: a new way to control a submissive, a new sex trick, a cool atmosphere they managed to conjure during a shag. This week’s anonymous guest blogger has exactly that – an unusual and kinky arrangement, which he’s loosely titled the ‘weird wank’. Before we start I want to let you know that he has sought permission from the guy he does this with, who’s happy for him to write about their dick-controlling antics. Enjoy!

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