This week’s guest blogger has already brought much joy with this amazing post about the sexiness of armpit hair. Today, he’s back on another topic very close to my heart: the ways that porn can benefit and improve our sex lives. As someone who’s been creating sex content for over a decade, personally I am bored of having the conversation about whether porn is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘harmful’ or ’empowering’. The simple truth is that porn, like all other media, can be both good and bad depending on what’s being produced. And wrapped up in that truth is another very beautiful one: some porn scenes can genuinely change your life for the better. Please welcome today’s guest, who is here to tell you about the porn video that did exactly that for him…

(more…)

It shouldn’t need saying, and I hate having to say it, but needs must: what we do is good, actually. By ‘we’ I mean sex bloggers, erotic photographers, independent pornographers, and anyone who falls under the broad umbrella of ‘sexy content creator’. In light of the devastating news that after fourteen years of running the gorgeous, body-positive, empowering Sinful Sunday project, Molly is shutting it down, I wanted to take a second to celebrate what she (and the amazing contributors) do for us. And highlight the fact that in a world which is getting more hostile to independent creators in the sex space, it’s more important than ever to remind everyone that what we do is not immoral. It is not wrong or perverted or sick or worthy of being expunged from the internet. Sex and masturbation is a healthy part of most adult lives, and creating media that inspires and celebrates pleasure is not just acceptable, it is valuable. What we do is good, actually.

(more…)

Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

(more…)

The most common request I get is for more stories about the free use secretary. I’ve written about her initial interview, this one time the boss fucked her while he was on the phone, a meeting in which she was offered out to clients to sweeten a business deal, and another episode when she got fucked by two junior managers in a stationery cupboard. This story’s back to just her and the boss: a quick and dirty facefuck. It contains spanking, throatfucking, free use, humiliation, degradation, hints of piss play and definite power imbalance. 

Note, as with all these stories, that they’re hyper-exaggerated sexual scenarios that play with my kink for misogyny, my fantasies about being used, and my love of wanking to the grubbiest, least-compelling men you’re ever likely to encounter. Really pathetic, one-track-mind, unable-to-comprehend-women-as-people douchebags. The fact that these men are pricks is very much key to the fantasies. I enjoy playing with this stuff inside my head and on the kinky wank space that is this blog, but these stories are not and should never be seen as a guide on how to treat people in real life. I hope this is obvious, but it can’t hurt to hammer it home. 

(more…)

I get asked a lot by journalists what makes audio porn more ethical than video, and every time I’m asked, my answer is the same: it’s not. Is an Mp3 more ethical than an Mp4? It’s a nonsense idea – like arguing that podcasts are more ethical than TV. Audio is merely a different medium by which you convey and enjoy porn, and although it may require a different focus when you’re considering how to do it ethically, the medium itself doesn’t negate the need for an ethical framework. Believing that audio is just naturally ‘ethical’ and good while video porn is ‘unethical’ and bad (and harmful to women!) is likely to lead to complacency on the part of those who produce it, not to mention a harmful and regressive increase in sex work stigma directed at our colleagues in video. Let’s break this down.

(more…)