I get asked a lot by journalists what makes audio porn more ethical than video, and every time I’m asked, my answer is the same: it’s not. Is an Mp3 more ethical than an Mp4? It’s a nonsense idea – like arguing that podcasts are more ethical than TV. Audio is merely a different medium by which you convey and enjoy porn, and although it may require a different focus when you’re considering how to do it ethically, the medium itself doesn’t negate the need for an ethical framework. Believing that audio is just naturally ‘ethical’ and good while video porn is ‘unethical’ and bad (and harmful to women!) is likely to lead to complacency on the part of those who produce it, not to mention a harmful and regressive increase in sex work stigma directed at our colleagues in video. Let’s break this down.

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I have very little truck with entertainment that simply makes me think – I want to read, watch and listen to stuff that makes me fucking feel. And few genres on this planet are more effective at making people feel stuff than porn. Direct, intense, powerful: compelling people to touch themselves, revelling in the sensation of their crotch thudding hot and warm with blood. I adore porn, and in fact I will happily recommend you some fabulous sites if you’d like to buy a sub to get your rocks off (click the ads! And if you can’t see any porn ads, hit refresh until you do!). I don’t actually watch porn while I’m wanking, though, and every now and then I have a conversation with someone in which they look at me like I’m weird when I tell them I can (and usually do) get off without porn. I’m a sex blogger who has access to a lifetime’s worth of free porn! Why aren’t I watching it all the time?! It’s like they feel sorry for me, having to make do with just the thoughts in my head instead of the magic on screen. All the while, I’m feeling sorry for them, because they don’t have access to the kind of content that plays in my own private cinema.

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Dirty little secret time, people: I have a kink for misogyny. An intense, horny, fucked-up passion for men who will treat me like shit. And before I delve into some of my more detailed treat-me-like-shit fantasies, I wanted to do some preamble to explain why this is only ever hot when I’m playing life on ‘sandbox’ mode. What’s horny in my mind and during roleplay is actively horrifying in real life. In case it wasn’t screamingly obvious: that’s why it gets me really wet.

Note that this post includes examples of violent misogyny, non-consent and rape – both the fantasy versions (hot!) and real-life ones (not!). 

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Regular readers will already be familiar with Jenby’s excellent work. I’m going to keep the intro for this very short indeed, it’s just here to let you know that the following contains references to transphobia and violence, and I’m extremely grateful to her for tackling this. Here’s a piece by Jenby about her first time with a cis woman.
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It’s that time of year again! February! The bit just before the 14th when everyone’s telling you to buy sex toys. Instead of just telling you to buy stuff, I am going to share with you some horny ideas for Valentine’s Day, then tell you that if you like those ideas you’re welcome to reward me by giving me good girl points clicking the links and buying cool things from the companies which sponsor this website. There are some amazing companies on the list (porn! Audio porn! Sex toys!), and my horny ideas are all ones you and a partner (or two, or three, or four) can put into practice with (I hope) relatively little effort, and either low cost (all but one are less than £50) or completely free. Don’t say I never treat you right. And even if you’re not in the market to buy, I hope you’ll enjoy these mini porn stories anyway. I had a super horny time writing them.

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