There’s a particular porn scene my partner and I watch over and over and over. I’m not going to tell you exactly what it is, because for some reason a little piece of my brain blushes at the thought of you watching it and judging me. But it contains a dynamic that I find incredibly hot: the bored fuck. Ideally with an incredibly eager dude (or a line-up of them) and a really bored-looking woman. Her expression says ‘I’m bored of you fucking me’ or perhaps even ‘get on with it’, and his desperation paired with her ambivalence makes me a soaking-wet-and-shaking kind of horny.

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Most people who have watched Game of Thrones have a favourite character: specifically one they’d most like to fuck. If yours is Danaerys or Jon Snow, you’re more than welcome to them. Personally I’ve a bit of a soft spot for Ygritte, and an incredibly wet spot for Oberyn Martell. But two other characters do it for me faster than the Hound devouring a roomful of chicken, and I would give my soul for the chance at a Game of Thrones threesome that starred my two faves: Tyrion and Bronn.

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Last year I wrote a creepy Halloween story – I will devour you. It was just a fun little thing to write, and I enjoyed letting my inner goth collaborate with my inner pervert to do something scary. I loved it so much that this year I wrote a new Halloween sex story: based on love and reanimation. It contains BDSM, intense pain, branding, zombie sex, death and more death. Please don’t read on if those things are likely to disturb you, but if you get a thrill from scary stuff then I hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It’s also available as audio (click ‘listen here’ above) or visit the audio porn hub to find more sexy stories read aloud, most of which, I promise, are much less creepy than this one.

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This week’s guest blogger – Jamie Bowden-Smith – is a historian of the late 20th century and runs the Gay News Archive Project, republishing the pioneering LGBT+ newspaper of the 1970s.  He tweets at @thisisrjg and if I am 100% honest with you, he is one of the people I have met through Twitter that I would most like to go for a pint with. He has both a passion and a knack for articulating the delicious details about what makes something hot, and in this blog he applies his knack to something very close to my own heart: the sexiness of smell.

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I love a good dating story – the more unusual the better. As a now-mostly-monogamous person, I like to live vicariously through singletons, remembering the heady days of internet dating and the weird and wonderful things that can happen when you match with someone on Tinder or OKCupid. This week’s guest blogger – Fran MacLaine – is here to tell you about her first three hours on Tinder. And it’s a rollercoaster, so strap in tight…

Names and identifying details have been changed. 

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