I’ve always wanted to write a sex advice column that offers ‘advice’ in the most fun sense: how to make your sex life hotter. People could write in with questions like ‘my girlfriend is into public humiliation, but I’m nervous and stumped for ideas. Any suggestions for subtle but hot ways I could indulge her kink?’. Or maybe ‘my husband recently told me he wants to be used, but I can’t get my head around the concept – can you help me find sexy ways to introduce this into our shagging?’. Honestly, someone should commission me to write this, we’d have loads of fun. This horny daydreaming is one of the things I enjoy most in a relationship: as I discover all the little nooks and crannies of someone’s sexual desire, I can spend hours pondering fun ways to try and weave those desires into the sex we have together. But I’m single at the moment and this skill doesn’t get much use. So I’ve been itching to write this year’s Christmas gift guide, because it gives me the chance to go through my sponsor roster, pick out some of my favourite sexy things, and then come up with a whole bunch of hot scenarios that feature them which you can deploy in your own sex life.

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