Tag Archives: true fact: i just bought a few more xbox games so that the boy will spend more time playing it with my face buried in his crotch.

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On sex blog search terms

I know I bang on about it all the time, but there really is no limit to the vibrant, messy, diverse range of human sexual tastes. But it’s all very well me telling you that, I’m sure what you’re really after is hard evidence.

Well, you’re in luck. Evidence doesn’t come any harder than the people who typed in the following sex blog search terms that led them here. These were all typed in on the same day:

Sex blog search terms

tickle fuck

Definitely not my cup of tea, and I expect you were incredibly disappointed to be led to the post in which I argue that tickling is one of my least favourite things.

get erection wading in jeans

I have never written about this, so not entirely sure why it’s in there, but my God I’d love to see it. If anyone has any pornography that meets this oh-so-specific fetish, please do pass it along to me. For research purposes.

images of a girl holding a pissing cock

Give me a second while I Google this myself, then spend a good few minutes staring transfixed at the screen. Guys pissing is super-hot, and I’m pretty sure I know where that search term sent you.

Unfortunately, I am not allowed to hold guys’ cocks while they piss quite as frequently as I would like. Apparently I have appalling aim.

over 50 still want spunk porn

Of course you do. Age is no barrier to spunk porn.

getting a blowjob while playing Xbox

I KNEW IT. I fucking KNEW I couldn’t be the only one who thinks that the idea of Xbox blowjobs is super hot (to avoid accusations of product placement I should point out that the particular console doesn’t matter: PS3, N64, an ancient Sega MegaDrive you’ve had hanging around since the 90s – all of these are acceptable).

Sadly, the super-hot post I wrote about giving an Xbox blowjob has not yet achieved the one thing I thought was guaranteed: loads of reddit love. So if you’re on reddit, and you like being blown/blowing someone while they manipulate the controller with their quick, sexy fingers, do me a favour and post it somewhere on their NSFW boards. If it goes viral, I’ll send you a Twix.

where can I find photos of women smelling there feet

I don’t know the answer to this question, but I’d recommend finding a woman you like, who likes you, and asking her if she wouldn’t mind awfully having a quick sniff and taking a snap for you. As far as fetishes go, this one doesn’t strike me as too tricky to fulfil.

girl holds my dick while I pee pics

Again with the dick holding. Perhaps my desire to do it is actually relatively normal, and most couples in which at least one of them has a penis engages in this every now and again. Another one for the ‘research‘ list.

girl using urinal

No pictures, I’m afraid, but I can tell you that although I am rubbish at using female urinals, I did manage to use a male urinal successfully once. It involved some weird angles and a bit of spray, but most of it went where it was supposed to. Definitely one to tell my grandchildren.

nothing could be finer than to lick her sweet v

I can see where you’re going with that, but am upset that you didn’t complete the rhyme. Come on, it was only five more letters! Five! Now I am left feeling unsated.


That’s better.