What exactly is IMDb erotica? Well. Last night, a gentleman and I were trying to choose which film to watch. We were tired, so wanted something with the right level of vague tittilation but zero intellectual merit.

On our search, we found possibly one of the most beautiful things in the world: IMDB erotica.

By which I mean “the content notes for films on IMDB.” They’re poetic, delicious, hilarious run-downs of all the sexy bits in the film, as written by a breathless youth who is probably halfway through a wank. Observe:

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