I’ve always wanted to write a sex advice column that offers ‘advice’ in the most fun sense: how to make your sex life hotter. People could write in with questions like ‘my girlfriend is into public humiliation, but I’m nervous and stumped for ideas. Any suggestions for subtle but hot ways I could indulge her kink?’. Or maybe ‘my husband recently told me he wants to be used, but I can’t get my head around the concept – can you help me find sexy ways to introduce this into our shagging?’. Honestly, someone should commission me to write this, we’d have loads of fun. This horny daydreaming is one of the things I enjoy most in a relationship: as I discover all the little nooks and crannies of someone’s sexual desire, I can spend hours pondering fun ways to try and weave those desires into the sex we have together. But I’m single at the moment and this skill doesn’t get much use. So I’ve been itching to write this year’s Christmas gift guide, because it gives me the chance to go through my sponsor roster, pick out some of my favourite sexy things, and then come up with a whole bunch of hot scenarios that feature them which you can deploy in your own sex life.

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Ever fancied being lubed up with warm oil and sliding around with a crowd of similarly oily strangers? You will almost certainly enjoy this week’s guest blog! I’m delighted to welcome PJA Woode this week – he’s a fellow sex writer who contributes fabulous erotic fiction to the porn site FrolicMe, but today he’s here to share a real life experience. After listening to the interview with Tabitha Rayne in which she and I talked about craving stories written by men that show emotional vulnerability, he offered a story about overcoming his own feelings of shyness to attend his first liquid orgy. What follows is both sweet and deliciously slippery…

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Recently someone on BlueSky asked ‘would 20 year old you be impressed or disappointed by who you are today?’. My immediate response was ‘both, in spades’. There’d be certain things about my life that she’d be wildly impressed by, others that might cause significant disappointment. But you don’t have to take my word for it, let’s ask her ourselves. Hop into my TARDIS and let’s go visit The Commercial Rooms – a sticky-carpeted Wetherspoons in Bristol city centre – in the year 2004. If I know this bitch (and I do), she’ll be somewhere in there drinking double vodka RedBulls, chain-smoking cigarettes and yearning for a boy we’ll call Adam.

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John Lewis have released their ad, Tesco is full of chocolate advent calendars, and Russell Brand is off to jail. It must be Christmas! Time to show you all the gorgeous – and subtly smutty – card that Stuart has drawn this year, and explain how you can get one.

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Listen up, fans of interesting sex challenges. This week’s guest blogger has a kickass idea for you. He’s written some fabulous guest blogs here before, including a delightful piece about where he wears his wedding ring, what a prostate orgasm feels like, and his quest for the perfect butt plug. So I’m delighted to welcome him back today to mark the start of a fun sex challenge he’s set himself for the month of November. And no, it is definitely not the one you’re thinking of…

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